Beautiful

Beautiful

You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way.

“HERE YOU GO, BEAUTIFUL,” Aaron said as he handed me that morning’s first cup of coffee.

“Have you looked at me this morning?” I muttered as I took the cup he offered. Still rumpled from sleep, I was clad in my soft-from-ten-thousand-trips-through-the-washer shirt I’d received for finishing my first 5K race. I love the memory it evokes and its worn softness despite its obnoxious kelly green color and the forty-odd local business names printed on its back. My sleep shirt may be beloved, but it does me no favors in the looks department.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

With a small snort as my response, I smiled at the man who is my very best friend, before taking a sip of coffee as I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, enjoying the few moments of early morning quiet before our household awakened.

According to our culture’s standards, my cesarean scars, stretch marks, laugh lines, and extra weight that I can no longer claim is purely due to childbirth puts me outside traditional definitions of beautiful. Our society tells us that once the first blush of youthful beauty has passed, women lose value. I’ve watched this reality as women around me reach the age of cultural invisibility, and I stand on its cusp if I haven’t crossed over that invisible divide already.

But I’ve also reached the age where women finally exchange man’s definition for God’s. I find myself—for the first time—comfortable in my own skin, appreciating my scars and wrinkles because they are visual evidence of my story—hard, miraculous, glorious moments forever etched into my skin—living reminders that this body has served me decently well while I’m away from my heavenly home.

Lord, help me redefine beauty so that it lines up with your Word rather than culture’s unsustainable, impossible expectations. Amen.

-Julie

One Good Step: Spend ten minutes with pen and paper quietly before God. Ask him to tell you what makes you beautiful in his eyes. Tape your list on your bathroom mirror.