Approval

Approval

Am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

THE DAY I CHECKED the “inactive status” box on my law license renewal form, putting my law license into a category that allows me to keep it but prohibits me from giving advice or stepping into a courtroom, I wept. Accustomed to deeply satisfying, challenging work and the subtle authority introducing myself as an attorney brought, I was suddenly suffering from an acute identity crisis I’d arrogantly thought I’d already hashed out and left behind.

I was addicted to the approval of people, and the withdrawals were far more painful than I’d thought possible. What would colleagues think of me for quitting—was I a failed lawyer in their eyes? Would former clients and fellow businesswomen think I was yet another woman who opted out instead of leaning in, thereby failing my daughter’s and granddaughter’s generations?

I did what I could to avoid spaces and places filled with business connections that first year, not wanting to see disappointment or gleeful disdain in acquaintances’ eyes, not wanting to explain that I didn’t have a fabulous backup plan but had simply trusted God when he showed me that for me, it was my career or my family—not both. Several years later, I can honestly say that I have no regrets. God’s way was far better, and he has given me new outlets for my skill sets.

Letting go of man’s approval is a slow, painful process, one that I will likely wrestle with until my dying breath. Trusting God requires being okay with man’s disapproval. God often asks things of us that are countercultural, a laying down of our prestige and power and wealth in unusual ways, a setting aside of our culture’s indicia of success, a realigning of our lives with the red words of Jesus. But it’s worth it.

Lord, show us where we are addicted to man’s approval instead of seeking yours. What changes are you asking us to make? Help us seek your approval in those changes rather than man’s. Amen.

-Julie

One Good Step: Sit in silence before God, asking him to show you where you are placing the approval of man over his. Make a change, today.