New Morning Mercies #226

Self-righteousness is being more concerned for, and motivated by, the knowledge of the sin of others than your own.

It’s a spiritual rendition of the old question, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” Is self-righteousness the reason for personal spiritual blindness or is personal spiritual blindness the root of self-righteousness? Whatever the case, they motivate and strengthen each other, and because they do, they present a grave danger to anyone who still has sin living inside him or her (that’s all of us).

I’ve seen this operate so powerfully in married couples that it locks their marriages in a permanent state of paralysis that precludes any hope of real lasting change. The husband comes to counseling with a long list of his wife’s sins, weaknesses, and failures, but with little awareness or concern for his own, and his wife comes armed with a detailed list of her husband’s wrongs, but with little reference to her own. When I ask the husband what is wrong with his marriage, he doesn’t talk about himself, he talks about his wife, and when I ask the wife what is wrong, she doesn’t talk about herself, she talks about her husband. How is it possible to have two utterly righteous people and a marriage that is broken and dysfunctional?

Be honest right here, right now as you are reading this devotion. Whose sin bugs you more: your own or that of someone near you? Who are you desperate to see change: you or someone else in your life?

The self-righteousness/spiritual blindness/judging of others dynamic that causes so much spiritual and relational damage between the “already” and the “not yet” is directly addressed by Christ in Matthew 7:1–5:

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Self-righteousness means you don’t see yourself or the other person with accuracy. It means you see his or her speck as a log and your log as a speck. So you are condemning of him or her and excusing of yourself. You treat the other person with judgment while you respond to yourself with patience. This troubling dynamic is another powerful argument for our desperate need for rescuing grace. Only this grace, as it comes to us in the insight-giving and convicting ministry of the Holy Spirit, can help us to see ourselves with accuracy and others with clarity. You see, it takes grace for you to realize how much you still need grace.

For further study and encouragement: Matthew 18:21–33