Why You Shouldn’t Have A Family

“Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3, NLT)

Out of the mouths of babes.

“Momma, get up!!” My younger daughter, four years old at the time, climbed into my bed and yanked off my covers. “I’m hungry for my bref-kist!”

“Noooooo,” I whined into my pillow. “Come snuggle with me. I’m still tired.”

“But I’m hungry! Get up!”

“I don’t want to get up.”

“Well,” she stood on the mattress and planted two fists on her hips, “you shouldn’t have this family, then!”

Huh. If that ain’t the awful truth. You heard it here first, folks.

If you want to sleep, do not have a family.

After years of midnight baby shushing, 2 a.m. fevers, and staying up late listening for the garage door to open by curfew, I realize now my daughter had a point. Sleep is not for mothers. In fact, a lot of things are off limits for us moms.

If you want peace and quiet, do not have a family.

If you love clean floors and smudge-free windows, do not have a family.

If you can’t live without hot meals, lazy Saturdays, dangly earrings, and the ability to process your own thoughts, then sister, do not open your home to children.

You’ll never be able to eat another M&M without ravenous little sugar mongers sniffing out the goods from halfway across the house, nipping at your heels. “What do you have, Mom? What is that? What are you eating? Can I have one?” Nor will you be able to drive through Starbucks without a teenager asking for her own mocha too, please. So for the love of private chocolate indulgence, please, girlfriend, do not have a family.

And if you can’t stand it when your face hurts from smiling and your abs turn sore with belly laughter, don’t have a family.

If bottomless hugs and kisses aren’t your thing and you’re convinced unconditional love is overrated, then by all means, don’t try to have a family.

And if you want to hold tight to who you are and never change, never stretch beyond what you think you’re capable of, never surrender your time and energy and expectations, and if you’re just not a fan of trusting God in ways both ordinary and unimaginable, then please. Do NOT. Have a family.

I know this now more than I did when that little four-year-old was standing on my mattress with her fists on her hips. Because the years I spent not sleeping, not eating my M&Ms in peace, not finishing a single thought without interruption — those years made me. They stretched me into someone I couldn’t have become any other way.

And now that the house is quieter and the little voices have grown into young women with their own opinions, their own bank accounts, and dreams for families of their own — I’d give anything to have my covers yanked off one more time.

Family life is hard. It’s immeasurable. It’s heart-wrenching, faith-wielding, and downright beautiful. It will require all you have and return even more.

Except for sleep. You might never really catch up on that.

So don’t have a family, ok? It just might transform your life.

And your arms can’t possibly contain all those blessings.

Reflect

• Do you view your family as a blessing or a burden? How do your daily sacrifices compare to your daily joys? Are you able to see how the scales weigh far heavier on the joy side, even on the frustrating days?

Apply

• If you have kids still at home, watch them playing, reading, or sleeping today. Focus a few minutes on truly observing them when they’re not looking. Realize you are seeing some of God’s greatest gifts in front of you. Spend some time asking God to help you see your children the way He sees them.