Mom Heart Moments #28

Do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?

SOMETIMES WHEN PEOPLE FIND OUT Clay and I are grace-based in our approach to parenting, they assume we are lenient and undisciplined. However, we actually were very idealistic and had high expectations for our children. We instructed them through consistent training and a relational, discipleship-based life. Our philosophy also looked at each child as an individual, so we worked to figure out what appealed to and reached the heart of each one.

No matter what philosophy we have for discipline, we need to remember that our goal isn’t primarily to make them obey, but to motivate them toward obedience from a sincere and loving heart. I always felt that if I expected my children to exercise self-control and to work hard, I had to be sure I was meeting their essential needs. They needed to be given a fairly routine life —plenty of sleep; an appropriate amount of stimulation; nutritional food; lifegiving, soul-filling words —so that their bodies could support my ideals and expectations for them as a mom.

Discipline is really about relational training in righteousness and taking time to instruct, train, praise, and correct. It lies in strengthening a child’s moral character and will through all the moments of life, rather than referring to a list of rules and mandates about when and how and for how long to spank or punish. The Holy Spirit grants wisdom to each parent about how to apply biblical principles of training according to their own life puzzle and their unique children. While the final result will look different for each family and each child, philosophies that focus on reaching and training the heart have a more significant influence on the formation of the child’s soul than those based on predetermined lists.

Have you ever taken time to think about the ways God relates to you as a parent? How might this vision affect the way you relate to your children?