Mom Heart Moments #235

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.

A NUMBER OF YEARS AGO, our family had the opportunity to build our dream house in the mountains of Colorado. We selected a site especially for its views, chose a floor plan that would be just right for us, and thought through how we would furnish it to suit our family. And of course, first we had to dig a foundation! A beautiful, sturdy home doesn’t just sprout from the ground; a plan must be put in place.

As we raised our children, making a plan for how we would train them was paramount. In a nutshell, training a child means constant instruction, interference with immature and inappropriate behavior, consequences of some sort, then modeling or requiring a correction of the behavior, with constant attention to the relationship.

We said, “No, not that way —this way” over and over again, gently, lovingly, firmly, and consistently. We were also ready to praise for good choices and say, “You are growing so strong inside, and I see you making such wise choices.”

We did not want to control our children because we were bigger and louder and could create havoc in their souls with our anger, but we wanted to train and motivate them so they would understand early on that they had the capacity to decide how to behave. If they responded to our wills and desires by following our instruction, they would be blessed. If they did not respond correctly, they were choosing to be disciplined in some way —the choice was theirs.

“I cannot make you strong —only you can decide how strong and excellent you want to become. But I believe God has created you to be wise and strong and valiant. So, I am hoping that you will choose to obey Mommy, so that you can be blessed and happy.”

When you think about training in your home, which areas might need to be strengthened? How can you encourage your children to make right choices today?