Recalibrating With God

Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.

UGH. I HATE THIS.

My house was silent, and it was far later into the night than I had intended to be awake. Sitting in the soft glow of our Christmas tree, a cup of tea in hand, I studied my list for how December was supposed to go. Skimming over all the tasks that should already have been done, activities that felt more burdensome than cheery and fun, projects I could not do with the flawless execution of those around me, I heaved a weary sigh of frustrated sadness.

Julie, will you ever get this right? I asked myself. Why are your good intentions always at least two sizes too big for the chaotic run-up to Christmas?

Yet again, I had overestimated the time and energy my family had available while vastly underestimating obligations from school, work, church, and family, which—while enjoyable—are unmovable calendar fixtures requiring everything else to flex around them during the countdown toward Christmas.

Shaking myself out of self-recrimination before I started to spiral further, I recounted the fun things, the good things, the obligations I’d already met. Then I took to God the items yet to be done, stilling my body and mind as I turned to Scripture, prayerfully asking him to help me reorder my list in light of our remaining time and in alignment with his will.

After that silent pause followed by prayer, I tucked my favorite tea mug, now empty, into the dishwasher and trundled off to bed, determined to reevaluate everything in the morning after sleep and further prayer.

That late-night moment happens year after year. I have never figured out the perfect balance for December and am starting to suspect that it is an illusion. Instead of beating myself up for exuberant planning, I am learning to prayerfully recalibrate each mid-month by stilling myself in God’s presence, seeking which activities are a priority and which need to be released for this year, for this phase of life, or forever.

It is a challenge to quiet myself before God any time of the year, but that challenge is magnified in the whirlwind known as Advent. Yet it is in that intentional stillness that he is honored and that he can speak into our hearts, minds, and spirits. In those moments, I find encouragement and peace, and I arrive at a revised list better aligned with God’s purposes.

Here are questions I prayerfully take before God about my Christmas to-do lists:

1. What items on my list are eternally significant versus those that have value but are not focused on the eternal? While embracing just-for-fun traditions of all kinds is important, centering the gift of Jesus’ birth and acting as his hands and feet is our cornerstone.
2. What traditions have I fallen into because of expectation or obligation rather than joy or intentional choice? Can I outsource, reduce, or remove any or all of them? For example, after years of stressed-out baking, I now purchase my Christmas cookies and send Christmas cards every other year. Now that my kids are teenagers, these changes create a more peaceful December because I have outsourced activities that are more stressful than fun for my family. Of course, you may love baking and sending Christmas cards, but you hate the idea of hunting for a real Christmas tree—something we love. Our lists of what to keep and what to let go of may be completely different!
3. When is “good enough” the appropriate standard versus a temptation toward perfection? Can some presents be in gift bags rather than wrapped? Could outdoor decor be minimized even as you go all out inside? Can a gathering be held in January rather than December to ease everyone’s schedules? Is there part of the Christmas Eve dinner that can be catered rather than prepared from scratch? Can presents for extended family be turned into a new tradition of volunteering together to serve a meal at a shelter? What tasks can a spouse or children take on in which the results are appreciated and praised without requiring redoing or correction?
4. Which items incorporate values of giving and gratitude as a core part of the experience? The most successful way we have found to push back against the commercial aspects of Christmas is to embrace opportunities to give and thank.
5. Are there items on my list because I strive to “keep up with the Joneses” rather than doing Advent in a way that fits my life or family? What works for your friends, family, coworkers, or neighbors may not work for you and your family, and that is okay! Without diminishing their approach, embrace what works for you and let go of those things meant only to keep up appearances.

These are questions I ask myself based on my own tendencies to stray from God’s best. They are meant simply as a starting point for your own analysis. As you still yourself before God, your questions and convictions will be based on your stage of life, the people in your household, and the community you live in. As you recalibrate with God throughout Advent, you can find your way back to merry and bright together.

Heavenly Father, you are sovereign over heaven and earth, and you are worthy of honor from every nation and every people group! Amid the hustle and bustle of this season, the sacredness of our Savior’s birth can get a bit lost; forgive us for our distraction and draw us back to you. Take our to-do lists, obligations, and traditions and reorder them to match your will and Kingdom. Restore us to an appropriate balance as we seek to honor you amid the expectations placed on us. May we bring heaven to earth, revealing your love for the world as we move through these days. Amen.