Embracing Advent Hospitality

Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!

“HEY, JULIE! What about this tree? It’s purple!”

A glance at my friend Ling had me grinning. She, her son, and my kids were hugging a precut tree spray-painted an awful shade of bright Vikings purple with cheesy expressions on their faces. As I drew near, I noticed a certain wistfulness in my third-grade daughter’s eyes.

“Hmmm. These are kinda little,” I responded, “and I think we wanted a big one to fit all our ornaments. Shall we see what we can find down that row of big, fluffy trees?”

Winking at my daughter, I linked arms with her and whispered, “Let’s show our friends how we cut down a tree with Daddy’s saw instead of settling for one of these already chopped-down ones. Does that sound good?” And with that, the kids dashed pell-mell into the forest of available trees, with Ling, Aaron (my husband), and me hurrying to catch up.

My children have been enrolled in a Mandarin immersion program at our local public school since kindergarten, and that means we’ve had the opportunity to invite visiting Chinese teachers and interns into our family adventures for over a decade. During the three years Ling taught in our program, she and her young son became frequent visitors in our home and on our family outings. We ate meals together, trading off cooking American and Chinese styles. They joined us for major holidays, a road trip to Mount Rushmore, and whatever fun local events we thought might spark an interesting cultural exchange.

We discovered that our traditions and adventures became all the more memorable and enjoyable when Ling and Chang joined us. So when they returned to China, we temporarily adopted the next batch of visiting teachers and interns each subsequent year.

But here’s the thing: hospitality doesn’t require knowing people from the far corners of the earth, planning elaborate excursions, or even having magazine-worthy spaces for entertaining. Our first house was a two-bedroom rambler circa 1960 with its original seafoam green siding and the “vintage” yellow countertops covered in geometric orange triangles. Trust me when I say we owned that home during the awkward period when those eclectic design choices were just plain outdated rather than retro-cool.

We threw some of the biggest parties of our marriage in that small space, inviting the entire young adult group from church over for game nights and Christmas parties. I laugh to think of the fire codes we may have bent and the fun we had crammed into a tiny living room and kitchen before spilling out into our unremarkable urban backyard.

People return to our current house each Halloween because we’ve become known for our roaring driveway bonfire with a hot cocoa bar, s’mores, and—gasp—full-size candy bars, not because we love Halloween (at best, I barely tolerate it), but because we’ve discovered that it’s easier to connect with our neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods on that particular night than any other night of the year, and we will seize that opportunity.

In a world that is increasingly connected online and yet ever lonelier in person, we’ve been surprised over and over with how deeply impactful an invitation to a gathering or activity, even the simplest ones, has proven to be. And, for people who love Jesus, hospitality is essential, both to others who share our faith (see Romans 12:13; Galatians 6:10) and in the broader community (see Hebrews 13:2; 1 Peter 4:9).

So, what does hospitality look like during Advent when we are already pulled in a million different directions? Here are some practical considerations as you contemplate hospitality done your way during this already-busy season.

1. Who might you invite to already-planned activities or events without creating additional work? For several years in a row, our host’s neighbors joined us for Thanksgiving dinner. They were a young family far from home, and pulling four extra chairs around the Thanksgiving table was literally the only extra work required from any of us. Their children fit right in with our pack of cousins, and we had really funny, interesting conversations about the differences between Minnesota and their home state of Texas.
2. Is there an older coworker, church member, or neighbor who might be missing the (mostly) joyous Advent atmosphere created by young children? For a time, our next-door neighbors were an older couple whose grandchildren lived several hours away. We didn’t understand how much they missed the chaos of dinner with toddlers until they joined our rowdy patio dinner one evening. As Mark hugged me goodbye, his eyes teared up, and he told me how delightful it’d been to be around our family and how much they missed their grandkids. As a young mom, I simply had no idea my raucous crew could be a gift. Who might love to join your young family for a car ride to look at Christmas lights or for a chance to build a snowman in the backyard?
3. Do you live near a university? Often, a department or office is tasked with helping international students join a local family for holiday meals or other outings as a cultural exchange. If your family cuts down a tree at a tree farm, this is a fun cultural event for international students that adds nothing to your plans besides coordinating a ride. Other ideas include a cookie exchange, walking through an outdoor holiday market, sledding, snow tubing, or your Christmas Eve or Christmas Day meal. The gift of inclusion in a new cultural adventure will be a memory that lasts a lifetime—for both of you!
4. What about hosting a potluck evening with an ugly sweater contest or a Farkle tournament for your church community, coworkers, neighbors, fellow soccer parents—the list is as varied as our unique lives. It’s an easy way to throw a party without the pressure of cooking for everyone. We’ve learned to let people spill into the backyard if the weather is decent; otherwise, we fill the house with folding chairs and let folks chat and eat without worrying about setting up card tables.
5. Consider your unique circumstances and stage in life as you figure out what works best right now. The types of hospitality that worked for me with toddlers don’t always work for me with busy teenagers, and vice versa. And that’s okay. Whether we have toddlers or teenagers, whether we are married or not, whether we are retired or working full-time—these all impact what hospitality looks like for us this particular Advent. We can be hospitable, even as we honor where we are.

I’ve never regretted inviting people into my family’s activities and events, and I’ve almost always found myself unexpectedly blessed in the process. And what is the point of a merry and bright Advent if we aren’t inviting others into our joyous celebrations as we acknowledge our Savior’s birth?

Heavenly Father, show us how we can be inviters this Advent season without adding more work or stress to our already-full plates. Help us brave the risk of obedience in extending invitations, allowing you to be sovereign over whether that invitation is accepted. May we see those around us with your eyes, attuned to those who might be lonely or grieving this Advent season. And, as we practice hospitality, make the burden light, especially during this time of year. Amen.