I Want Legs Like Hers

If you’re like me, chances are you’ve struggled with comparison and envy. Her stomach is flat; I’ve got a muffin top. Her hips are narrow; mine give new meaning to the word curvy. Her legs are long and lean; mine are like tree trunks.

Suddenly, all my blessings pale in comparison. What I don’t have blinds me from seeing what I do have. My heart is drawn into a place of misguided assumptions and ingratitude … as I assume everything is great for women who possess what I don’t have and I become less and less thankful for what is mine.

And here’s the real kicker … things for the person I’m comparing myself to are almost never what they seem. If there’s one lesson that living more than forty years has taught me, it’s that everybody has not-so-great aspects to their lives. Whenever I get an idyllic view of someone else’s life, I often say out loud, “I am not equipped to handle what they have, both good and bad.”

God has had to teach me a lot about how to nip a comparison in the bud so it doesn’t develop into full-blown envy and jealously. The statement, “I am not equipped to handle what they have, both good and bad,” has been one of the greatest gifts God has given me. Every situation has both good and bad. When I want someone else’s good, I must realize that I’m also asking for the bad that comes along with it. It’s always a package deal. And usually if I’ll just give something enough time to unfold, I often thank God I didn’t get someone else’s package.

One of the first times I came to understand this truth was in middle school when I met a beautiful girl at the children’s theater in my town. We were both budding child actors cast in a Christmas play. During rehearsals, I remember seeing her long dancer’s legs move in ways my stubby limbs never could. Her legs were muscular, lean, and graceful. Mine couldn’t be described with any of those adjectives.

One day this girl had unusual pain in her left leg. A doctor’s appointment turned into a battery of tests that turned into a hospital stay that turned into a diagnosis. Cancer. A surgery to remove a tumor turned into an amputation that turned into a complete life change. Her world was filled with words no child should ever have to know: chemotherapy, prosthetics, hair loss, and walking cane.

As a young girl, I was stunned by the whole experience. Especially because I clearly remember asking God for legs exactly like hers night after night as I watched her glide across the stage.

I was not equipped to handle what she had, both good and bad.

I don’t want to paint the picture that every good thing someone else has will end with a tragedy. That’s not the case. Sometimes others’ good things are simply fantastic. But they are fantastic for them — not me.

I love the truth of Proverbs 14:30: “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Sitting around wishing my legs were shapelier did nothing but discourage me and make me feel rotten. However, getting out and exercising made me come alive. It wasn’t a quick fix and I still can’t say I have dancer’s legs, but I have peace knowing I’m doing what I can. And it is good.