Gracious Speech

WHILE RUSHING TO CHANGE PLANES in a large airport, I heard a woman call my name. I didn’t recognize her, but I slowed my pace and smiled.

“I heard you wrote a book,” she said, loud enough for other passengers to hear. “But,” she continued, “I know you didn’t really write it. Everyone today has a writer.”

Her words stunned me, but I was too out of breath from running to catch my plane to respond, and my sole focus was making my connecting flight to the city where I would speak later that evening. I was both relieved to be in the boarding line and thankful for God’s grace, which prevented me from responding to unedifying words with unedifying words. Waving to the woman who spoke to me, I boarded last with my carry-on bag and the perfect example of “un-gracious” speech.

The first two Scripture verses I memorized as a young mom were both about gracious speech: “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29) and “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person” (Colossians 4:6). As a wife and a mother of five, I had countless opportunities to apply these verses. After I had my first child, my sin nature was quickly revealed in my speech, and I began to pray daily for God’s grace to sprinkle my speech with love like I sprinkled salt on the food I served my family.

My children no longer live at home, but I still pray these verses daily, because “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21). Our world is desperate for life-giving speech, and those of us who know the Lord are the best equipped to respond to each person we encounter with love and grace.

My mother never recovered from hurtful words spoken to her by her family during her childhood and later as she entered college. Although she excelled in all but one class, her family’s certainty that she would fail eventually led Mom to drop out. Job expressed similar pain inflicted by his so-called friends when he was suffering with grief and loss: “How long will you torment me and crush me with words?” (Job 19:2). King Solomon compared harsh words to the thrusts of a sword (see Proverbs 12:18). A few swipes of a sword can do long-term damage to impressionable children, marriages, churches, and friendships. But the strongest warning about our speech is from Jesus: “I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment” (Matthew 12:36).

Positive words, by contrast, have the power to inspire, motivate, heal, teach, reprove, encourage, love, evangelize, and more. Memorize your favorite “speech verses,” or take them with you on a note card to apply as needed as you go through your day. Watch the atmosphere change as you sprinkle encouraging words at the grocery store, office, and gym; at church, in your neighborhood, and especially in your home.

Written words also have the power to build up or tear down. A few months ago, I walked into a restaurant and an implausible God story. The sweet girl I was meeting there has a huge heart to use her support animals to lift the spirits of sick kids at the local children’s hospital; she even has degrees and training in this area. Years ago, when our family visited a critically ill child there, I learned about this woman’s impact, and I wrote a note to thank her. We exchanged a few Christmas cards over the years, but a few months ago, I sensed the Lord prompting me to invite her to lunch. As we met for the first time, I clung to every word of her fascinating life story.

“I want to show you something,” she said as she pulled out a wrinkled paper. “I’ve kept the note you wrote me in my Bible for the last fourteen years,” she explained, handing it to me to see. “The words you wrote encouraged me to keep on serving the kids.”

I held back tears until I closed my car door; then I wept all the way home. They were just words that God had prompted me to write on a card, but He used them powerfully because He knew my friend’s challenges and her need for encouragement.

Do you wonder whether the small things we do in life really matter? The smiles, the notes, the kind words? I believe they do. How will the positive words you speak, text, or write today impact others? Make the conscious effort to sprinkle gracious words generously!

REFLECTION

In what situations are you most likely to use ungracious words? Memorize one of the many verses on speech that you can apply to those circumstances. Then ask God for the self-control to choose your words wisely today, that they may benefit those who hear them.