God Who Sustains - Held in Grief by the God of Comfort

“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses.” (Psalm 25:16-17, ESV)

I plunked down on the couch with the house finally quiet at the end of another full day. As a mom of seven children, alone time usually was golden. I got so little of it that I came to love the end of day, when I had time to myself. But the silence I once craved, I now dreaded. The last thing I wanted was one more evening with time all by myself.

Navigating my grief during the day was hard enough, but at least the daytime hours were filled with activities that kept me busy. We had mornings of homeschool or co-op classes and afternoons with extracurriculars and sports practices. After getting dinner on the table, cleaning up, and bathing the youngest kids, I’d settle into the family room recliner with our current read-aloud while my children snuggled on the couch or sprawled on floor pillows. Afterward, my older children would go upstairs to read on their own or finish schoolwork as I tucked the littlest two into bed. Then I had the downstairs all to myself.

All to myself. Now, without the distraction of kids or a to-do list, I was forced to sit with my loneliness. I never knew the ache of loneliness could physically hurt. I wanted to numb it immediately, but anesthetizing the pain on my own would only make our circumstances worse. Turning on the television didn’t make up for the conversation I dearly missed, and scrolling my social feed only made it seem like everyone else was living their best life surrounded by their favorite people.

God didn’t rescue me from those excruciating evenings of pain. He sustained me through them.

I’d always known about God’s saving grace—God’s redeeming grace that saves us from the penalty of our sin and restores our relationship with him. But God doesn’t just save us and then leave us to grit our way through difficulties in this life on our own. God’s grace also sustains us.

God’s sustaining grace helps us bear what seems unbearable. Sustaining grace is a powerful gift from God that allows us to endure the troubles of this world to the end. Paul found this when he was given a thorn in the flesh. After Paul begged God three times to make it go away, God’s answer was not to fix the pain, but to give Paul power to endure it. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’” (2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV).

So much of loss is coming face-to-face with grueling emotions, unwanted steps, shattered dreams, massive change, and painful loneliness that are too much for us to handle. At each place of weakness, God’s grace helps us endure.

Sometimes, God’s sustaining grace comes breath by breath or moment by hard moment. But it is always enough. No matter how deep the ache, God’s grace is sufficient. No matter how difficult the trial, God’s grace is sufficient. No matter how long the wait, God’s grace is sufficient.

A Prayer to God Who Sustains

Dear God, I am hurting. This aching loneliness as I miss my loved one is excruciating. Keep me from any unhealthy choice in my pain and help me lean into your strength when I’m too weak to endure. Thank you for your grace that has not only saved me for eternity but will sustain me through every difficulty this side of heaven. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Journaling Prompt

What difficult moment in your grief have you seen God’s grace sustain you through?