God Of Comfort - Held in Grief by the God of Comfort

“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18, ESV)

“What are the three best words to say to someone who’s grieving?” I listened as a radio host asked this question on-air. When he went to a commercial before revealing the answer, I made some guesses. Maybe they’re “I love you,” I thought. When friends spoke those words over me in my fresh loss, they were like salve on my broken heart. Or maybe “Let me help.” Goodness knows we need practical support when life falls apart. They could be “I’m so sorry,” I thought. This is the phrase we hear most often in grief.

But none of my guesses was correct. Back on air, the radio host announced that the three best words to say to someone in grief are You’re not alone.

The deepest comfort comes when someone not only sees our pain but sits with us in it. They don’t even need to say anything because their presence brings comfort. The friends who came to be with me, cry with me, and walk with me long after the rest of our community went back to their lives were a huge comfort in my own grief.

Part of God’s comfort to us in our pain comes because he is with us in our pain.

Psalm 34:18 promises that “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” I think of a mother with a young child, who’s typically nearby and caring. But if that child is admitted to the hospital with an illness, his mother draws even closer, sitting at his bedside, available to help and tend and respond to the child’s faintest cough or need.

God draws near when our heart is broken. The word for broken in “brokenhearted” can be translated as broken in pieces, crushed, wrecked, rent violently, shattered. My heart felt all of this. At the same time, I also felt cloaked in God’s palpable presence. God’s presence didn’t remove the searing pain of loss, but it gave me the comfort to get through—day by day, moment by moment, breath by anguished breath.

Does God seem distant to you right now? Maybe your prayers don’t come easily, you feel uninterested in opening your Bible, or you’re outright mad at God. The times we most often don’t feel God are the times we most need him. Cry out for God, tell him you feel alone, and give him your honest struggles. Like a child sick with fever who may not realize his mother’s constant presence, you need to know God is near in your brokenness, whether you feel him or not.

You’re not alone are the three words God gives us in Scripture. They aren’t empty words but a powerful promise that God acts on again and again. In Isaiah 43:2, God said, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.” In Isaiah 41:10 (CSB), he said, “Do not fear, for I am with you.” In Hebrews 13:5, God promised that he will never leave us or forsake us. When Jesus was made flesh and came to live among us, he was called Immanuel, which means “God with us” (Matthew 1:23). And when Jesus ascended back to heaven, he said, “I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).

You’re not alone. God is with you in your pain. God is near and will wrap you in his comfort every step of the way through your grief.

A Prayer to God of Comfort

God, thank you for the comfort of your presence even as my heart is completely crushed. Thank you for your promise that you will never leave me or forsake me. When I don’t feel you, help me trust that you are near and that you have me wrapped in your love through each hard step forward. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Journaling Prompt

How have you felt God’s comforting presence with you in grief? If God feels distant, write a prayer sharing your struggles and asking God to help you draw closer to him.