Unforgivable? No!

I glanced in the mirror and saw Sonja slip the X-ray film from the brown envelope and hold it up in the streaming sunlight. Slowly, she began shaking her head, and tears filled her eyes.

“We screwed up,” she said, her voice breaking over the images she would later tell me were burned in her mind forever.

I turned my head back enough to see the three small explosions she was staring at. The misshapen blotches seemed huge in the ghostly image of Colton’s tiny torso. Why did they seem so much bigger now?

“You’re right. We should’ve known,” I said.

—HEAVEN IS FOR REAL, 29

Todd

A lot of us struggle to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we make—or think we make. Parents probably have the hardest time with those struggles.

If Colton had died, Sonja and I would no doubt have felt responsible. Yes, we were following the doctor’s advice, but we would have felt guilty anyway, thinking our gut instincts as protective parents should have kept us from meekly going along with what just felt wrong to us.

So I understand when parents come to me and say they can never forgive themselves for what they did or didn’t do. Maybe they aborted a baby. Maybe they were driving drunk and caused an accident that killed their child. Maybe they turned their back one quick instant, and something went terribly wrong.

And now they’re asking me, “How can I ever forgive myself for what I did?”

For help in answering them, I look at Jesus’ example. When people were thinking wrong, he would redirect their attention. For example, when the Pharisees attacked him for working on the Sabbath, instead of answering them directly, he shot back questions of his own: Who’s Lord of the Sabbath? Is it wrong to do good on the Sabbath?

When a young mother comes to me and says, “I had an abortion. I know I can never be forgiven for that,” I try to help her change her thinking.

I tell her, “You’re right. Jesus says there is an unforgiveable sin.”

Usually, for a second she pauses . . . maybe swallows hard . . . and says, “Really?”

Yes, I answer, Jesus says there is an unforgiveable sin, and guess what: it’s not abortion. Jesus says the one unforgiveable sin is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

Now, blasphemy is a very complicated thing to explain, but let me assure you, abortion has nothing in common with blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. I tell that woman abortion is 100 percent completely forgivable.

Most of the time the mother will look up at me with a smile starting to appear on her face. “It is?” she says.

At that moment, when I can see she’s beginning to have a glimmer of hope, I continue. I ask, Do you know who Paul was? He was an apostle. But not just any apostle. He murdered Christians—men, women, children, and lots of them, not just one or two. Have you done anything that bad?

No, she says. Then I see her smile grow a little bigger.

So there’s the answer. If God forgave Paul, why wouldn’t he forgive you for what you did? Have you asked him to do that?

Only the unwilling are unforgivable. Is there any sin in your life you think God doesn’t want to forgive? Do you realize that the only thing between you and forgiveness is you?

Every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.

—Matthew 12:31 NIV