Imagine Being Held By Jesus

My little boy nodded as though reporting nothing more remarkable than seeing a ladybug in the front yard. “Yeah, Jesus was there.”

“Well, where was Jesus?”

Colton looked me right in the eye. “I was sitting in Jesus’ lap.”

—HEAVEN IS FOR REAL, XIX

Todd

It’s no surprise to me that Colton’s first memory of his trip to heaven is when he was sitting on Jesus’ lap. Can you even imagine what that must have been like for him—going from a harsh, terrifying hospital operating room to the lap of the Son of God?

Picture those times when a young child, or even a pet, has run to you in terror, wanting to be protected from some scary thing. Safely nestled in your arms, the little one turns back and looks at the “beast,” and suddenly fear is replaced by curiosity and security. That’s the kind of memory Colton must have had in heaven, tenfold. What a blessing.

But for me, the image of my little boy sitting in Jesus’ lap brings mixed feelings. I love knowing Jesus welcomed my son into the safety of his arms. But at the same time, I remember where I was while Colton was sitting in Jesus’ lap: I was hiding out in the empty hospital room, raging at God for bringing my son so close to death—furious at the very One who at that moment, unknown to me, was holding my son in his arms.

Quite a contrast, isn’t it?

I’d like to tell you that since I found out what was going on while I was having my pity-party meltdown, I no longer rant and rave at God when things go wrong. But that wouldn’t be true. I still get frustrated. And I get mad. But now I get mad at the circumstances and not at God.

Sure, I still cry out to God to intervene in those hard circumstances. He expects me to ask him to keep my family and my friends safe. But at the same time I try to remember that God has a plan for my life—a plan that ends in heaven—and whatever is happening to me right now is part of that plan.

Yes, I still get frustrated. I want to know how my current difficulty fits into God’s big picture. It would make things so much easier to endure the challenge at hand, wouldn’t it? But God’s ways are not our ways, and until it’s my turn to sit in Jesus’ lap and feel that unimaginable peace and security, I’m trying to live my life with that image in mind.

People have asked Colton, “When you saw Satan, weren’t you afraid?”

He answers, “Well, Satan is scary, but I wasn’t afraid. Jesus was just showing me an image of Satan. It’s not like he was right there.”

Colton knew he was seeing just an image, not Satan himself. He explains that and then adds, “Besides, Jesus was standing next to me. You’re not afraid when he’s right there.”

Imagine yourself, whenever hard times hit, climbing into Jesus’ lap and turning back to look at the thing that has caused you pain or fear. I’ll bet things won’t look so scary there.

He took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.

—Mark 10:16 NIV