In His Hands

Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21

WE WALKED HAND in hand down the driveway, her little six-year-old fingers tucked in my thirty-something palm. By the time we reached the bus stop, my daughter had asked five times if I would be there when the bus dropped her off that afternoon. Five yeses later, she finally seemed convinced and joined several other wiggly, excited, and anxious kids about to have their first day of school.

I thought I was ready for the bus to arrive. After all, this was my second child to go off to school for six hours a day. I had done this already. But as the bus came into sight, fear hit me in a fresh way: I would have zero idea where my daughter was at any given time. I wouldn’t know what she was doing, who she was talking to, what was hard for her, what was hilarious to her, what was disappointing. As she stepped onto that bus, she stepped out of my control. And it was paralyzing.

Waving goodbye, I could tell her anxiety was easing, while mine was tensing up. I had a choice to make as I turned back and made my way to work: I could be a divided soul all day, or I could remain in one piece and be present during my workday. I could wear anxiety, or I could wear trust.

The Greek word for anxiety is merimnao, which means to be anxious, concerned, divided, torn apart. Some translations are much more severe: to be torn asunder. Whew. Sounds about right. My heart was in pieces; half of it was on the bus, and the other half was on my work. How was I supposed to function? If I stopped worrying about her, did it make me a bad mom? If I only concentrated on what was in front of me, was I abandoning her?

Turns out, the best thing I could do was remain present, cease my worry, and entrust her to God’s care. Over and over and over. All day long. Until the big yellow bus rolled back home with her safely inside.

Anxiety can get the best of us. It can tear our hearts apart. But the principle that Jesus taught us—where our treasure is, there our heart will also be—still holds.

One of my treasures is my daughter. So I needed to trust God to care for her and go about my day. I needed to remember that He’s got her, that He has my good and her good in mind. I needed to look to Him to overcome my anxious thoughts and trust that He was holding my heart—and my heart’s treasures—in His hands.

The grace I found in doing so was learning that God does not hold out on us, but holds on to us. What a gift in the middle of our anxiety. We can place our treasures in His hands and focus on the work He has for us today.

GRACE REFLECTION: Pray with me, “God, thank You that I can bring my anxious thoughts to You. Help me today to place my heart’s treasures in Your hands and trust You with their care. Amen.”