Closed Fists

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

“YOU ARE OFTEN inflexible and struggle with control,” I read out loud to my husband. “Do you think that’s true, babe? That’s what my Enneagram says. I am pretty flexible, right?”

Silence and a smile.

My husband has a way of just looking kindly at me and our children with insightful thoughts behind his eyes. He has keen observations about any situation. The question is whether we want to hear his revealing observations.

“You are flexible when you decide to be, when you are in control and it’s your choice to flex.”

Sigh. He nailed it. I am flexible on my terms and timeline. My physical posture may look flexible and carefree, but my hands are often closed tight around my choices and opinions.

Control. It’s the juice that dripped down Eve’s hands from the forbidden fruit. Our sticky, sinful choices are summed up in this one word.

We watch the curses come from God as a result of Eve’s choice. She would have pain right at the center of her ability to give life, and she would desire to rule over her husband.

Classic.

For me, it’s not just wanting to rule over my husband but over everything. In situations where I have any say, I want to direct and guide and steer them. Some of this comes from my leadership qualities and some from my sinful nature.

Our tight grips reveal our need for a true King. When we are trying to be in control, we are saying we want to be king, to be in charge, to be God.

But one of God’s graces as we combat control is the gift of community, the grace of sisterhood. Together we can pull one another out of the quicksand if we are brave enough to be honest. We can share our struggles with other sisters if we are brave enough to be vulnerable. We can accept correction when we are confronted, if we are brave enough to be teachable.

Let’s be brave enough. Let’s be sisters who see control for what it is and lovingly, graciously point out how it is killing us. Our tight grips are squeezing the life out of us. But when we open our hands, we open our hearts. We open ourselves to freedom. To joy. To hope. Open hands are a beautiful display of grace.

GRACE REFLECTION: What are you trying to control in your life right now? Pray with me, “God, I confess my desire to control and be king, pushing You off the throne and crowning myself queen. Forgive me. You are in control. You are sovereign. I submit my life to Your will.”