Circus Brain

His delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. Psalm 1:2

I SAT ON the thin paper sheet in the exam room, trying to peek at my doctor’s illegible notes. He was asking so many questions. “Do you have a hard time wrapping up projects once the exciting part is done? Are you easily distracted by noise and activity? Do you fidget or squirm when forced to sit for a long period of time?”

Yes. Yes. Yes.

What he handed me next was a ten-minute self-assessment. The more I looked it over, the more I realized what it was. An assessment for ADHD. Awesome. I’m a thirty-five-year-old woman with three kids, I work in ministry, and he thinks I have ADHD.

Well, friend, the numbers don’t lie. My brain has always felt like Grand Central Station—busy, zippy, creative. Whether it has taken me years to accept this reality is neither here nor there, but there is one thing I know to be true: I need to lasso my brain and find a place for all my fast-paced thoughts. If I am not careful, they will hog-tie my soul.

Enter meditation.

I know. You might be thinking pretzel legs, eastern mysticism, and an empty Zen state of mind. But Christian meditation is just the opposite. We don’t want our minds to be a blank slates; we want them to be filled with the fullness of God.

“Meditation sends us into our ordinary world with greater perspective and balance,” Richard Foster wrote in Celebration of Discipline.^a Dietrich Bonhoeffer says. “Just as you don’t analyze the words of someone you love, but accept them as they are said to you, accept the Word of Scripture and ponder it in your heart, as Mary did. That is all. That is meditation.”^b

Lately, I’ve been determined to spend ten minutes a day in meditation. I’m learning that grace so often is an intentional heart posture we must choose. So this is where I take all of my stress, fears, and battles.

I sit quietly with my palms facing the floor and softly name all the hard things. After I have whispered everything plaguing my soul—from the grocery list to the grief of change in my life—I slowly turn my palms up and ask God to fill me with Him. With peace, hope, joy, love, faithfulness, and patience. I imagine His taking over my soul. I calm the circus, quiet the animals, and let God be the ringmaster of my mind.

This practice has proven to release stress, to heal hurry, to quiet demons. May you experience the same.

GRACE REFLECTION: With your palms down, take a few minutes to name all of your worries, cares, and stresses. Imagine them falling to the ground, powerless. Then turn your palms up, and ask God to fill you with His goodness and power. Expect God to change your mind-set because of it.