Annoying Grace

My cup overflows. Psalm 23:5

GRACE HAD BEEN sitting on my countertop all week, and I didn’t even know it. In fact, I had found it kind of annoying. Grace was in the way.

The week was hotter than it should have been for an Ohio October. The sweat bees were everywhere, but the plans had been made: an apple orchard outing with friends. And it was the last thing I wanted to do.

In any other given October, this outing would have been a highlight. But we had just found out about our oldest son having Crohn’s disease. Up until this moment, apple orchards represented sweaters, carefree kids, and cozy family memories. But today, frolicking around with buzzy bees, sticky cider, and rows of apple trees felt trite. My son has an autoimmune disorder for life. Nothing else matters.

Trying to keep some sense of normalcy, we kept to the calendar and arrived at the orchard all in tow. My younger two innocently ran off to eat apple cider donuts and stick their heads through the cut-out farmer photo displays. Throughout the afternoon, as they picked their apples, they kept repeating, “Twist and pull. Twist and pull.” And that was the exact state of my soul. Twisted and pulled. Nothing was quiet and peaceful. Our family seemed twisted, pulled, and dropped like a bad apple, left to rot. And my heart was growing a root of bitterness below the surface.

I have no idea why we decided to fill the biggest bag—an entire bushel. The kind an entire three-year-old can fit into. But my husband was willing to carry it, so we twisted and pulled and walked and filled.

By God’s grace, we did end up laughing, eating, and ignoring the bees. And as we packed up the kids with their sticky hands and smiles, we shoved our full and overflowing bag of apples into the trunk and went home.

Coming in the door that evening, we were all shoes off, baths, and bedtime routines. I heaved the bag of apples onto our concrete countertop and got busy settling in our people for the night.

Over the next few days, my son had tests and blood work, and we made a hard lifestyle choice: a new diet to help put the disease into remission. We had to make so much food from scratch and completely overhaul our pantry and refrigerator. My countertops became very important work stations. And that huge bag of apples became cumbersome as I slid it around to make space to chop and cook. Each time I shoved the bushel to the side, I found myself bitter at the bag. What am I going to do with all these apples? Why is this ridiculous bag always in my way?

Just after shoving the apples to a different corner, I turned the page in our new diet book to see the next phase. I read a line that made me laugh: “This week you can introduce homemade cooked, pureed apples. You’ll need a lot of apples as they really cook down.”

Grace had been sitting on my countertop all week, and I had been shoving it around. I had belittled and bullied a gift. And in a moment, that bag of bitterness became an actual saving grace. God had overflowed my cup in the middle of my mess and showed me that grace looks like sustenance through a special diet for my special child.

How often have we missed a gift sitting right in front of us? How often have we called amazing grace, annoying grace? Let’s find contentment in knowing that grace waits us out. Grace always finds its place.

GRACE REFLECTION: Think of something that has been annoying you recently. Could it actually be a gift of grace? See what you find.