When My Mean Girl Wants To Come Out

When My Mean Girl Wants to Come Out

Lysa TerKeurst

Do you ever have days where someone tries to rip the joy right out of your life? I do. And it’s really hard. The good girl part of my brain says, Be nice. Honor Jesus with your actions. Your response is your responsibility. Self-control, Lysa, self-control.

But the mean girl part of my brain says, How dare they act that way! I’ll show them!

Issues.

I have them. Maybe most of us do. Especially that one special week a month.

But God.

I love how those two words interrupt me. Redirect me. Remind me. Comfort me. Battle the mean girl in me. And cause me to pause.

Pause. Just for a minute. And it’s in that pause where we give the Holy Spirit room to interrupt the mean girl response just dying to come out. The Holy Spirit says, Lysa, stop and think. It might feel good in the minute to scream, retaliate, pitch a fit, and flood the situation with scary emotions. But it won’t feel good in the long run. You’ll feel the sting of regret. Come on, Lysa, be rare. Be a girl who looks ahead and determines to do what’s best in the long run.

Yes, it stinks that this other person is determined to steal our joy. But in reality, our joy can only be stolen if we let it.

Jesus says, “If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you” (John 15:10–12).

Several things struck me as I read this verse. Any time I interact with others, I’m faced with the choice to remain in God’s love or retreat from God’s love. I can’t control how someone is acting toward me, but I can control how I act and react. If I choose to remain in God’s love and react to this other person kindly, it affects my joy.

Jesus interjects His joy right into the heart of a kind person. If I choose to be kind, instead of my joy being depleted, it will be completed.

So back off, mean girl part of my brain. The Jesus girl in me is taking over—and holding on to every ounce of joy that’s rightfully mine. Circumstances can steal stuff from me. But not my joy.

Dear Lord, this sounds so good in this moment. But it will not be easy when I interact with that person who makes my mean girl want to come out. Will You help me remember these truths? And help me remember if I react kindly, my joy can be completed rather than depleted. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

REMEMBER

Circumstances can steal stuff, but not joy.

REFLECT

What would it be like to live with Jesus’ complete joy in your heart?

RESPOND

Choose a relationship in which your mean girl often comes out. Think of three specific ways it would look to retreat from God’s love when your joy is tested. (For example, you become grumpy, say harsh words, and throw things across the room.) Now, think of three specific ways it would look to remain in God’s love. (For example, you use a kind tone, choose to believe the best of that person, or do them a favor.)

POWER VERSES

John 15:10, 12; Hebrews 12:2