The Trials Of Friendship

The Trials of Friendship

Melissa Taylor

When I asked “Paula” if she could get together Thursday evening, she said she couldn’t, but was obviously reluctant to give me a reason why. A little while later, I called “Dana” to see if she could hang out Thursday. You can imagine my surprise when she said, “Sorry, I’m going to a dinner party at Paula’s.”

Ouch! I wondered why Paula didn’t just tell me about her dinner party. I felt left out and lied to. I struggled with whether or not I should approach Paula. I wanted to be able to say to her, “It’s okay you didn’t invite me, but I wish you had been truthful about why. I forgive you, because ‘a friend loves at all times.’” But I was too afraid to even have the conversation.

At times like this, I follow my mom’s advice: “When you don’t know what to do, that’s your cue to pray.” So I prayed. God reminded me that being a friend who loves at all times means believing the best about each other and working through problems. However, despite what I knew from both my mom’s wisdom and God’s, I decided to just let it go. I was too fearful to confront my friend.

Paula called me a few weeks later. She too had been thinking about the party and felt bad for her lack of truthfulness to me. She apologized and explained why she hadn’t invited me. I apologized for not confronting her. We ended up laughing about our insecurities; we knew we loved each other and wouldn’t intentionally hurt one another. She could have been honest, and I could have been braver.

Dishonesty isn’t supposed to be a part of friendship; neither is fear. Every relationship will have trials. But through them, we must believe the best about each other and forgive. When an obstacle comes between friends, it can eat at our hearts, little by little. When we allow it to build up over time, our enemy will use it to divide us.

Perhaps the Lord is prompting you to tell the truth to a friend with whom you’ve been dishonest. Or maybe you’re the one has felt lied to. The wisdom of Scripture is this: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). Whether we are telling the truth or confronting a lie, reconciliation is a choice that is ours to make.

You may be on the end of a confession or confrontation that was not well received. It’s painful to lose a friend. But rest assured, once we’ve done our part, the Lord will do His and heal the wound. If you’re at a crossroads, wondering if you should confess or caringly confront, pray and take the next step. “A friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17). Choosing to love at all times is not always easy, but in the end, it’s worth it.

Dear Lord, I can make life more complicated than it needs to be. Help me to be honest and brave, and to forgive others the way You forgive me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

REMEMBER

While it isn’t always easy to “love at all times,” with God’s help you can love and confront difficult issues in friendship.

REFLECT

Does one of your friendships need restoration or reconciliation? What fears or concerns do you have about the process? Pray about how to move into action to make things right.

RESPOND

Write a letter to a friend or relative with whom you need to reconcile. Put it in an envelope and pray about mailing it.

POWER VERSES

Matthew 18:21–22; Proverbs 3:5–6