The Opinion Blender

The Opinion Blender

Amy Carroll

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

(Proverbs 12:18)

I stood in shock after the first women’s ministry event I coordinated several years ago. It seemed I was the hero of the day, and I couldn’t take it all in. I looked at my friend Peggy and said, “I’ve no idea what to do with all the praise.”

She smiled wickedly. “Don’t worry,” she said, “the criticism’s coming.”

She was right.

When in leadership of any kind—pastor, women’s ministry director, mother, executive—you’ll be thrown into a world of conflicting opinions. They’ll swirl you around like a blender. If you’re not careful, they’ll spin you silly, puree your self-confidence, and leave you a soupy mess.

I once heard a pastor say that leaders have foes and fans but not many friends. When I received feedback about that first women’s ministry event, it varied from constructive criticism to harsh critiques to sweet compliments. Talk about leaving me spinning! In the years since, I’ve gained some wisdom that has helped me navigate the opinion blender with insight and grace.

Dealing with criticism. Criticism is difficult to receive sometimes, but openness to it is essential for growth. However, I’ve found it’s helpful to sift through criticism carefully instead of embracing each reproach fully. I weigh each one with two questions: “Is it true?” and “Is it helpful?” The criticism that is helpful and true most often comes from trusted people in my life. I surround myself with truth-telling friends who love me despite my flaws, but who also refuse to diminish those flaws. My friends don’t shrink back from telling the truth, but they do stir love and kindness into the hard things I need to hear. They celebrate my successes and mourn my defeats.

Processing praise. Corrie ten Boom passed on her secret to receiving praise. To paraphrase: “I take each compliment as a flower, and at the end of the day, I give the bouquet to Jesus.” Her advice has helped me respond to praise. Because I want to respect the giver without seeming flippant, I’m not comfortable saying, “Give Jesus all the glory” when someone says something nice. But I want Jesus to get all the glory. I simply say “thank you” and gratefully receive the flower of praise. At the end of the day, I gather each compliment and give the bouquet to Jesus in prayer. It’s a joy to return to Jesus what is His, and it’s a sure way to hit the “stop” button on the opinion blender.

If you’re in leadership, remember: You’re not as bad as your foes say. You’re not as wonderful as your fans say. The truth is somewhere in between.

Learning to receive helpful criticism is part of growth. Welcoming praise as encouragement and passing the compliment along to Jesus helps calm the whirl of the opinion blender. Both help us to remember we’re loved servants of God on a journey to being like Jesus.

Dear Lord, help me find the balance of truth when receiving criticism and praise. I want to learn from legitimate criticism and return the praise to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

REMEMBER

Both criticism and praise can be vehicles of personal growth if received with openness and the resolve to give God glory.

REFLECT

Who has earned the right to tell you hard truths? How do you respond to them?

RESPOND

Write down one criticism and one praise you’ve received in the past week. Consider the growth potential of the criticism (is it true? is it helpful?) and offer the praise back to Jesus.

POWER VERSES

Proverbs 15:12; Proverbs 15:31