Jesus Loves Those In Messy Marriages

Jesus Loves Those in Messy Marriages

Lysa TerKeurst

I threw the cup of orange juice across the kitchen. It felt good to do something, anything, to release this surging anger. And I didn’t even mind cleaning the pulpy, sticky residue. It felt soothing to know how to clean something. I knew how to wipe away this mess. And I liked seeing the mess disappear.

If only my marriage mess could be fixed with soap and water. If only.

I whispered, God, why does this have to be so hard?

Many have been there. Whether in a really tough marriage or just in a rough patch, marriage can be messy. Hurtful. Lonely. No one ever told me about this side of marriage before I donned the white dress and danced to MC Hammer at the reception. But after twenty years of learning and pressing through the messes to see something beautiful form in the midst of it all, here’s what I know: Jesus loves those in messy marriages.

He loves me and my husband in the midst of it all. Jesus doesn’t love the mess of hurt, isolation, and bitterness. Those are things He wants us to work on. But He never stops loving us.

Yes. Jesus loves me. And His grace is strong enough to extend His love into every part of me. The good parts. The broken parts. The bitter parts. The loving parts. And even the part of me that throws orange juice.

Yes, He loves me.

And Jesus loves my husband. His grace is strong enough to extend His love into every part of him. The good parts. The broken parts. The bitter parts. The loving parts. And even the part of him that looks at me like I’m crazy when I throw orange juice.

Since Jesus loves both of us, He’s the best source of help for our marriage. I don’t say that without a deep awareness of how stinkin’ hard it is to go to Jesus when I’m mad as fire at my husband. And I certainly don’t say it in naive simplicity. Gracious, you may be facing a marriage situation that rips your heart into a thousand pieces every day.

But still, I know Jesus is the best source of help. Honest cries for help lifted up to Jesus will not go unheard. He sees. He knows. He loves. And Jesus will direct you as long as you stick with Him. Consider these words from Scripture: “But blessed is the man who trusts me, GOD, the woman who sticks with GOD … Serene and calm through droughts, bearing fresh fruit every season” (Jeremiah 17:7–8 MSG).

So, how do I stick with Jesus? I proclaim I’m sticking with Jesus: Jesus, I’m sticking with You. I’m giving You what I don’t understand and can’t fix. I’m giving You what I don’t like about me, my husband, and my marriage. I’m positioning myself to hear Your truth, to talk to others who love You, and to read wise instruction from good books—most importantly, the Bible. And even if it kills me, I’m not throwing orange juice today. Amen.

Yes, Jesus loves those in messy marriages.

Lord, today I’m going to hold my temper, hold my tongue, and hold Your truth. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

REMEMBER

Honest cries for help lifted up to Jesus will not go unheard.

REFLECT

Where do you generally go after a heated argument with your husband? Do you run to your mother or a friend to discuss it, or do you turn to Jesus and the Bible for truth?

RESPOND

Right now, remember all the reasons you admire, appreciate, and love your husband. Think of the big and small ones, like how he keeps his nails cut clean. File these away in your heart so the next time you are furious with him, you remember these reasons you love him, and you allow love to overtake your anger.

POWER VERSES

Psalm 62:8; Psalm 146:5