Following My Husband’s Lead

Following My Husband’s Lead

Renee Swope

I grew up in a family of multiple divorces and marriages led by strong women. When I got married, I had serious issues about respecting and following my husband’s lead. Honestly, I was afraid if I submitted to my husband I’d become a doormat and lose myself in the process.

About a year after we got married, JJ told me it was easier to just let me lead because it wasn’t worth the inevitable argument that followed if he tried. You’d think that’s what I wanted—to get my way—but it wasn’t. Instead of loving my husband more for giving me my way, when he became apathetic, I simply lost respect for him.

I knew our problem was mostly my fault. Deep down, JJ wanted to lead but when he tried, I often criticized how he led. I also knew Ephesians 5:33 commands wives to respect their husbands, but I wanted it to be more of a suggestion. It’s not.

So, I started praying God would change JJ and make him easier for me to follow—that he’d be more decisive, more confident, and, well, just more of what I wanted him to be so I would feel respect for him.

One day, God strongly impressed on my heart that my control and criticism weren’t getting me any closer to my desired outcome. In fact, my frustration with JJ only contributed to his doubts about his ability to follow God and lead our family.

God challenged me to keep my mouth closed when JJ did something I did not like or led in a way I didn’t want to follow. Instead, I was to make every effort to encourage my husband’s leadership by telling him things I admired and appreciated about him.

I started looking for and finding things in my husband I’d never noticed. I pointed out what I respected about him and let God take care of things I didn’t. I made many choices to honor him in big and small ways. And do you know what? I discovered countless things about my husband that were worthy of respect.

I discovered that my fear of losing myself was unfair and unfounded. My husband didn’t want me to become a doormat. He wanted my input, but he also needed my trust and encouragement. He needed me to believe in him and to offer my support—verbally, emotionally, and spiritually.

I’ve learned to follow my husband’s leadership by trusting God’s lead in JJ’s decisions. Has it been easy? Nope. There have been job changes I didn’t want him to make, financial investments that seemed too risky, and parenting issues that were hard, but my husband has become the leader of our family. And I’ve become more comfortable following his lead than I ever thought I’d be!

Dear Lord, I want to respect my husband. Help me to measure my thoughts and words carefully and come to You with my complaints. I want to become my husband’s biggest cheerleader and watch You do Your work in his life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

REMEMBER

Wives are called to respect their husbands.

REFLECT

How do you express value and respect for your husband? Do you tend to spend more time criticizing or encouraging him?

RESPOND

Within the next twenty-four hours, tell your husband at least one thing you are thankful for about his character, his work ethic, his provision, his humor, or something he adds to your life.

POWER VERSES

1 Peter 3:15; Proverbs 17:9