Filling The Gaps

Filling the Gaps

Lynn Cowell

I never thought I’d marry the guy I’d crushed on since sixth grade and whose name I’d doodled on my folders! Twenty-five years later, while far from perfect, there is one secret that’s helped make our marriage strong. A secret I’m passing on to our daughters.

A man can never fill the love gap in your heart.

As women, we long for a love that will fill the hungry places in our hearts: to feel loved, cared for, pursued, desired. And while people can help fill those gaps, they can never fully satisfy our desires. Our hearts will always search for the only One who can truly give us the love we were created for.

The prophet Isaiah tells us who can fill our love gap: the Lord. Isaiah goes on to say we’re set free from searching for love when we allow ourselves to be satisfied by God’s love instead.

Yet, the cultural messages we are inundated with while growing up—from movies, songs, digital media, and books—try to convince us the perfect man is out there. Princess-like fantasies of being adored, affirmed, and attended to grow in our minds. If only he would pay attention to me. If only he would say I am his, then I would really be happy.

When I was growing up, a popular radio song promised that one guy would be my all-in-all: “I’m forever yours … faithfully.” But for some of us, the man we married has not stood by us faithfully. For others, there hasn’t been a man who’s said, “I do.” Where does this leave us? Are we stuck feeling empty or broken for life?

I’ve walked beside several friends who’ve dreamed of picket fences, two kids, and a dog. Yet their dreams haven’t come true. But while on a journey they never intended or would have chosen, they too have discovered the truth that no man can ever fill the love gap in their hearts.

No man but one … Love Himself.

Seeking Jesus has helped heal my loneliness and rejection and replace them with joy and acceptance. Looking to Him each day to meet my need for affirmation has taken the pressure off my husband.

I recently shared this truth with a friend as she wept, “If I had only known that my husband couldn’t meet all of my needs! If I had only known that Jesus alone could fill me with the love I was missing … I wouldn’t have divorced my husband last year.”

Oh that we would grasp this truth and share it with the women in our lives. No matter what comes, we can find true love—a love that will never disappoint, never leave, never reject. It is a faithful love that can fill the gaps in our hearts.

Dear Lord, set me free to place my needs for affirmation, approval, and affection on anyone but You. I know You will never disappoint me, leave me, or reject me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

REMEMBER

No man can fill the love gap in your heart. No man but One, Jesus.

REFLECT

How do you look to others to fill the love gap in your heart?

RESPOND

Think of your favorite love song. Sing it today to your True Love.

POWER VERSES

Jeremiah 31:3; Song of Songs 2:16