Do I Have Father Issues?

Do I Have Father Issues?

Glynnis Whitwer

My friend’s father abandoned the family when she was young. As a result, she struggled with relating to God as her Father. Another friend’s dad was harsh and critical. It took years for her to feel unconditionally loved by God.

As a young believer, I didn’t think I had issues with my father. My father was a good man, hardworking, and faithful to his family. But he was an uninvolved presence in my life. If I had a problem, I went to my mother. If I got into trouble, I called my mother. When I wanted advice, well, you can guess who I approached.

For years, I congratulated myself on navigating my father’s distant personality with minimal negative impact. Then, ten years ago, I heard that everyone (even those with great dads) has some kind of “father issue” with God because of our human earthly fathers.

Could it be true for me? Was something missing in my relationship with God because of my relationship with my dad? As I dug deep, I discovered that although I was confident of God’s love, I didn’t really trust Him to be there in times of trouble. Would He step in if I had a problem? Did He truly care about me?

Every question revealed the same disturbing truth: I didn’t really trust God. Believe in? Yes. Love? Yes. But trust? The words were easy to say, but my heart wasn’t in them.

This realization shed light on so many issues that hadn’t seemed troublesome enough to address. Like why I had trouble praying for myself, why fear controlled me at times, and why I neglected to seek God’s wisdom in decision making.

It seems I really did have father issues that were affecting my intimacy with God. I didn’t know what it was like to have a father to turn to in good or bad times. But I desperately wanted to.

As awkward as it felt, I decided to make some changes. I was intentional about being more personal in prayer, even addressing God as “Daddy” (Abba, Mark 14:36). Faced with decisions, I asked God for advice (James 1:5). And when fear started to well up, I declared my trust in God despite my emotions.

Little by little, my faith and trust grew. I took doubtful thoughts captive and intentionally exchanged them with thoughts that affirmed God’s trustworthiness to help in times of trouble. It took years to rewire my thinking with the truth about God’s ability and willingness to be my heavenly Father. And honestly, I’m still a work in progress.

When I slip back into my independent ways, I choose to believe what I know to be true: I have a heavenly Daddy who wants to be my hero, champion, protector, and confidant—if I’ll only let Him.

Dear heavenly Father, You are perfect in all Your ways. Your Word says You are a loving Father, and I long to know You in that way. Only You know the gaps in our relationship based on my imperfect understanding of You. Please help me work through them. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

REMEMBER

Your relationship with your earthly father often affects your relationship with your heavenly Father. It’s your responsibility to believe the truth about God’s character based on His Word.

REFLECT

How does your relationship with your earthly father impact your relationship with your heavenly Father?

RESPOND

What do you wish were different in your relationship with God? Do you wish you trusted Him more or accepted His unconditional love? Commit this week to pray as if you believed that wish to be true, and watch God respond.

POWER VERSES

Matthew 6:26; Psalm 91:14–15