Being Thankful Changes Everything

Being Thankful Changes Everything

Lysa TerKeurst

I sat on the bed, tears streaming down my face, negative thoughts racing through my mind. Why does marriage have to be so hard sometimes? Why won’t he change? Maybe I married the wrong man. I was discouraged, overwhelmed, and tempted to give up.

This scene was repeated again and again the first five years of our marriage. But here I am nineteen years later, thankful I didn’t walk away.

Over the years I’ve learned that my husband isn’t my enemy. Art may feel like my enemy, but Satan is the real enemy who hates marriage and schemes against my husband and me. Satan’s goal is to cast something between two people in order to cause a separation. Satan wants to separate us with conflict, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and frustration of all kinds. He wants to separate us from our neighbors, our friends, our coworkers, our parents, our spouses, our kids. He wants to separate us from God’s heart.

One of the strategic ways Satan initiates a separation is by luring us into a place of complaining. If he can get us to focus on what is aggravating and negative in life, little cracks of distance start forming in our relationships. The grass starts looking greener everywhere except where we are standing.

I can see this clearly when I look back on the first five years of my marriage. Somehow, I became hyperfocused on all I felt was wrong with my husband and blinded to all that was good. I complained and nagged and set out to change him. And I almost destroyed my marriage in the process.

Satan had a field day as the distance between Art and me kept widening. We went to counseling, but my heart was so hurt—and hardened— that I refused to connect on any level. I was bitter and miserable.

One day as I was in a fit of tears asking God to please make things better, I felt challenged to start listing things about Art for which I was thankful. It was hard at first. But with each positive quality I listed, my perspective slowly changed. It was as if the clouds of negativity lifted and I could see his good qualities once again.

How sad that I had spent five years thinking my marriage was the pits. Now I know marriage with my Art is better when I’m investing in it and seeing the whole picture. And being thankful—intentionally listing things for which I am grateful—is a great way to start.

Dear Lord, thank You for helping me to be aware and appreciative of the good qualities in those I love. Help me to recognize Satan’s schemes and combat them with the power of a thankful heart. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

REMEMBER

Satan wants to separate us with conflict, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and frustration of all kinds. We can combat him by recognizing his schemes and changing our perspective.

REFLECT

When did you last thank God for someone important in your life, such as your husband, children, family, or friends? Do negative thoughts toward them seep into your words and actions? Be honest with yourself and determine why you’re so negative toward them.

RESPOND

Take a moment right now to sort out your thoughts toward one specific person. For each negative, “separating” thought about him or her, intentionally combat it with something for which you are thankful about that person.

POWER VERSES

Philippians 4:6; 2 Corinthians 4:15