Affair Proof Your Mind

Affair Proof Your Mind

Lysa TerKeurst

A few years ago, I watched as a friend got tangled up in an emotional affair. She was a strong Christian woman who loved her family, but her attraction to this other man seemed unavoidable. She tried to talk herself out of it, but her heart played tricks on her mind and the justifications for letting things go just a little further soon led her to a very dangerous place. She had become emotionally attached to him.

In a moment of desperation and fear, she confided in me about what was going on. As she described how she got pulled into this place, I was challenged by how subtly it happened. She’d always prided herself on being a woman of strong conviction and had scoffed at the idea of ever being tempted to have an affair.

It starts off simply—a comment made that you mull over one too many times; a conversation in which you feel a surprising connection; a glance that lingers just a second too long; or one of a thousand other interactions that seem innocent yet aren’t.

We must never assume it couldn’t happen to us. We are all just a few poor choices away from doing things we never thought we would.

And the time to prevent an emotional affair is before it ever starts.

Jesus warned His disciples, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41).

Watch. I need to be aware that I am just as prone to temptation as anyone. One of the best ways to be watchful is to pray with and for my husband. We need to be open and honest about meeting each other’s needs and investing wisely in our marriage.

Be sensitive to the subtleties. When another man says or does something I wish my husband would say or do but doesn’t, it can diminish the esteem I have for my husband and build up this other man. This is a seed of poison.

Be spiritually equipped. I must park my mind on the truth, and the truth is I am married to an amazing man. He is not perfect and sometimes our marriage can be hard, but I made a commitment to him in a covenant before God and there are no biblical reasons in our marriage why we should ever part.

My friend did the hardest but wisest thing she could in telling me about her emotional affair. It helped her to see she needed to flee and have someone else hold her accountable. But it also helped me. Her admission made me aware and alert to dangers lurking in any kind of unhealthy emotional connection with another man.

Dear Lord, may I forever treasure my marriage and consider it worthy of protection. Help me to be a courageous woman who flees from any and every situation where there is even a hint of danger. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

REMEMBER

The time to prevent an emotional affair is before it ever starts.

REFLECT

What specific things do you need to flee in order to protect your marriage? Delete your Facebook or Twitter accounts? Change your phone number or email address? Go to a different coffee shop or gym?

RESPOND

Are you struggling in this area? Confide in a friend or mentor to help hold you accountable. If you know of a friend who is struggling, call her to meet up so you can encourage her face-to-face.

POWER VERSES

Proverbs 14:1; John 8:11