Day By Day #30

Day by Day #30

MORNING/MIDDAY OFFICE

Silence and Stillness before God (2 minutes)

Scripture Reading: Luke 4:16–19, 28–30

[Jesus] went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. He stood up to read, and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:

            “The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

               because he has anointed me

               to proclaim good news to the poor.

            He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind,

            to set the oppressed free,

               to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” . . .

All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him off the cliff. But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way.

Devotional

It seems that almost everyone had expectations to impose on Jesus’ life. He disappointed a lot of people, even to the point they wanted to throw him off a cliff! Yet he was secure in his Father’s love and remained faithful to his God-given identity and purpose.

Although we may not routinely be in danger of being thrown from a cliff, we too have to sometimes face down the pressures and expectations other people want to impose on us. One very helpful way to clarify this challenge is to understand a concept called differentiation. Differentiation refers to a person’s capacity to define his or her own life’s goals and values apart from the pressures of those around them. A differentiated person has the ability to think clearly and carefully, to set priorities and make decisions.

Differentiation means you know how to hold on to who you are and who you are not regardless of your circumstances. Your level of differentiation is determined by how well you are able to affirm your values and goals apart from the pressures around you (separateness), while remaining close to people important to you (togetherness). Your convictions, goals, and values don’t change, even under pressure. You can make healthy choices, before God, without being controlled by the approval or disapproval of others.

Differentiation is sometimes uncomfortable, but tolerating discomfort is foundational to maturing and growth. The good news is, every small step of differentiation we take is actually a giant step toward making our lives a gift to the world.^a

Question to Consider

In which of your relationships might God be inviting you to differentiate, to tolerate short-term discomfort for the sake of long-term growth—in you and in those around you?

Prayer

Father, I admit that my fear and anxiety sometimes cause me to say and do things I regret. When my values are being violated or I feel pressured to make a decision I don’t want to make, help me to speak up or stand my ground. Grant me the courage to take steps today to differentiate in ways that will lead me, and others, to greater maturity. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Conclude with Silence (2 minutes)

MIDDAY/EVENING OFFICE

Silence and Stillness before God (2 minutes)

Scripture Reading: John 9:18–23

They still did not believe that he had been blind and had received his sight until they sent for the man’s parents. “Is this your son?” they asked. “Is this the one you say was born blind? How is it that now he can see?”

“We know he is our son,” the parents answered, “and we know he was born blind. But how he can see now, or who opened his eyes, we don’t know. Ask him. He is of age; he will speak for himself.” His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders, who already had decided that anyone who acknowledged that Jesus was the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue. That was why his parents said, “He is of age; ask him.”

Devotional

In contrast to their fearless, truth-telling son, the parents in this story are afraid of the religious leaders. Why? To be removed from the synagogue was to become a non-person in first-century Jewish society. Yet we learn an important truth from the blind man’s parents: When we are not the same person on the inside as we appear to be on the outside, there are painful consequences. Parker Palmer notes a few of those consequences for us:

        •     We lose touch with our souls and disappear into our roles. . . .

        •     We sense that something is missing in our lives and search the world for it, not understanding that what is missing is us.

        •     We feel fraudulent, even invisible, because we are not in the world as we really are.

        •     Our inauthenticity and projections make real relationships impossible, leading to loneliness.

        •     Our contributions to the world—especially through the work we do—are tainted by duplicity. . . .

The divided life is a wounded life, and the soul keeps calling us to heal the wound. Ignore that call, and we find ourselves trying to numb our pain with an anesthetic of choice, be it substance abuse, overwork, consumerism, or mindless media noise. Such anesthetics are easy to come by in a society that wants to keep us divided and unaware of our pain. . . . But there can be no greater suffering than living a lifelong lie.^b

The parents of the healed blind man choose not to make the changes that following Jesus require. Their fears of being cast out of the synagogue and the negative reaction of the Jewish leaders are too great. They didn’t appreciate that Jesus was with them, and that he could give them more than enough grace and power to carry them into a new future.

Question to Consider

Consider your interactions over the last twenty-four hours. In what ways, if any, did you choose your actions or words specifically to either gain approval or to avoid disapproval?

Prayer

Lord, grant me grace to be free from the fear of what other people think. Show me where and how I make decisions to get the approval of those around me (or to avoid their disapproval). Free me from a divided life that I might be the same person on the inside that I am on the outside. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Conclude with Silence (2 minutes)

^a For an extended discussion on differentiation, see Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, 82, 90.

^b Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness, 15–16, 20.