You Don’t Like Me

Do not be anxious about anything.

—Philippians 4:6

Have you ever been taunted by toxic thoughts? I have.

You are not liked.

Who are you to think you could do that?

Why did you say that? Everyone thinks you’re annoying.

Your kids just illustrated every inadequacy you have as a mom.

You are invisible.

Why do we let such destructive words fall hard on our souls? Toxic thoughts are so dangerous because they leave no room for truth to flourish. And in the absence of truth, lies reign.

As Christian women, we need to focus on holding our thoughts to a higher standard. How dare these runaway thoughts be allowed to simply parade about as if they are true and manipulate us into feeling insecure, inadequate, and misunderstood! Oh, how much trouble we invite into our lives based on assumptions. But God’s Word instructs us:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:6–9)

This is probably a passage you’ve read before. But, have you thought of applying it to your every thought—especially the toxic ones?

In the absence of truth, lies reign.

The mind feasts on what it focuses on. What consumes our thinking will be the making or breaking of our identity.

That’s why we need to think on, ponder, and park our minds on constructive thoughts—not destructive thoughts. Thoughts that build up, not tear down. Thoughts that breathe life, not drain the life from us. Thoughts that lead to goodness, not anxiety.

So, here are three questions we’d do well to ask ourselves when thoughts are dragging us down.

1. Did someone actually say this or am I assuming they are thinking it? If they actually said it, deal with it then. If I’m assuming it, that’s unfair to them and unnecessarily damaging to me. Instead of staying anxious, I need to seek truth by seeking God and asking Him for peace.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6).

2. Have I been actively engaging with truth lately? The more we read God’s truths and let truth fill our mind, the less time we’ll spend contemplating untruths.

Thinking runaway, worrisome thoughts invites anxiety. Thinking thoughts of truth wraps my mind in peace and helps me rise above my circumstances.

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

3. Are certain situations or friendships feeding my insecurities? If so, maybe I need to take a break from these for a season.

I need to seek friendships that are characterized by truth, honor, and love.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).

I know this is tough stuff. I know these issues can be more complicated than three simple questions. But it’s a good place to start holding our thoughts accountable.

After all, how a woman thinks is often how she lives. May we think upon and live out truth—and only truth—today.

Dear Lord, reveal to me untruths throughout my day that can so easily distract and discourage me. Help me see You and Your truth in all I do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.