Real Life

You may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

1 PETER 1:6–7

MY FRIEND HAD A MOM WITH A LEGENDARY GIVING NATURE. Kind, generous, eager to serve, hers was the kind of life marked by too many acts of help to count. As Chip puts it, “How many people have a delegation from the local post office, the local grocery store, the local drugstore, and even the local tire store show up at their funeral to say thanks for the homemade bread and cinnamon rolls?”

When such a “Dorcas” (Acts 9:36) dies, you hope you can give her the best of send-offs. Unfortunately, real life crashed the MacGregor funeral service. It all began when the bagpiper got his kilt stuck on the handle of the coffin. As Chip explained it, “What should have been a stirring version of ‘Scotland the Brave’ ended up sounding a bit like a cat being strangled.” And then the lead pallbearer stumbled and actually fell into the empty grave. When Chip leaned down to offer his arm for assistance, the man took one look at him and said, “Sonny, you’re going to need some help.”

Yet Chip notes that his mom had a great sense of humor and would have laughed louder than anyone at the day’s turn of events. What an inheritance Chip has received! Our best-laid plans—the perfect dinner destroyed, the cleaned house messed up, the trip stopped short by a flat tire or feuding children—will regularly collide with real life. What kind of attitude do we want to pass down to our kids? Can we enjoy the humor of living as fallen people in a fallen world, or will we fire our family with resentment when the smallest things go wrong, when a little rain ruins our outdoor plans or our vacation luggage fails to arrive when we do?

I believe it’s our duty to model to our kids how to live in a fallen, sinful world where things go wrong. Even better, we can see these turns of events as God’s directing providence. Notice how often Jesus seemed to minister almost by “accident.” You certainly don’t get the impression he and his disciples went through a carefully calibrated schedule: “At 10:00 a.m., you’ll preach the Sermon on the Mount; after that, you’ll curse the fig tree. But wrap it all up by 1:00, because that’s when you’re scheduled to meet the woman at the well.”

On the contrary, Jesus used storms, hungry crowds, suddenly active demons, and seemingly random wayside meetings to spread his ministry and message.

Anybody can have a good attitude when things go perfectly and nothing goes wrong; what marks a truly Christian family is when they remain calm, gracious, and gentle as real life assaults their best-laid plans. Why? It’s at these moments we make our faith seem particularly real to our children. During these seasons, our kids can witness firsthand the blessing of a faith-filled life.

Family life is as real as it gets! Why do kids always seem to get their earaches twenty-four hours before the vacation plane is scheduled to take off? Why do moms get hit with crushing cramps the day they’re trying to serve the Thanksgiving dinner? Why do dads get laid off two weeks before Christmas?

Such trials, the Bible tells us, test whether our faith “may be proved genuine.” How we accept and respond to these crises reveals to our children the sort of spiritual fiber we really have. If we weather these trials well, our kids may follow our spiritual lead, which will “result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus is revealed.”

What’s a flat tire compared to that?

Over the next seven days, let’s ask God to give us gracious hearts, hearts that roll with life’s punches, hearts that see humor where others see only frustration—it’s one of the richest inheritances we can pass down.

Just ask my friend Chip MacGregor.

Heavenly Father, your presence is often revealed most clearly when you grant us peace and patience in the midst of disappointment and crisis. Help us focus more on our reactions than on our disappointments. In Jesus’ name, amen.