Suitably Submissive Spouses

Be filled with the Spirit . . . submitting to one another in the fear of God.

Ephesians 5:18, 21

After a church service in which the pastor preached a sermon on wives submitting to their husbands, a man told his wife, “From now on, things are going to be different around here. I’m going to call the shots. I’m the boss, and you’re nothing!” “Big deal,” his wife countered. “Boss over nothing!”

We might laugh in that case, but sadly neither the husband’s rule nor the wife’s response was commendable. We smile nonetheless because we know how prickly the subject of submission in marriage can be. Paul did indeed say that wives are to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22). But that is not all he said about submission. In the preceding verse, he implied that submission to one another is an evidence of the filling of the Spirit.

In other words, submission is not primarily a wifely duty; it is a Christian duty. Further on, Paul pictures Christ as One who submitted Himself to suffering for the benefit of His bride, the church. True strength is seen in submitting rather than in forcing submission.

The strongest marriages are those built out of complementary stones held fast by the mortar of mutual submission.