Active Versus Passive Parenting

And you, fathers, . . . bring [your children] up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4

If you are a gardener, you know that planting a seed is only the first of a season’s worth of steps. There’s watering, fertilizing, weeding, and protecting the struggling plant from pests and diseases. Many flowers and vegetables require stakes, cages, or other supports to help them stand tall and bear their fruit. The gardener who does nothing but sow a seed shouldn’t be surprised if plants never reach maturity.

Almost all living things in God’s creation reproduce by sowing a seed: human beings, plants, birds, fish, and animals. When a plant seed is buried out of sight in the ground, there’s little we can do to impact its growth. But when a new plant—and especially a new baby—enters the world, that’s where the results of real husbandry and parenting can be seen.

Parents can have children, but only loving mothers and fathers actively nurture them to maturity. Feeding your child’s mind, body, and spirit must be actively pursued. Passive parenting is letting a child grow on his or her own, while active parenting is bringing up a child “in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6).

It’s true that we reap what we sow, but we also harvest fruit from what we carefully cultivate and nourish.