Guidelines For Gab

edification - Guidelines for Gab

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth. Ephesians 4:29, KJV

Teresa and I have worked diligently over the past several years on simply how we talk to each other. We’ve determined to speak only words that are wholesome and that benefit one another.

First, before I speak to Teresa, I check to make sure that the purpose of my words is to build up, encourage, or esteem her. If my purpose is to hurt, attack, or defend my position, then it’s not time for me to talk to her.

Secondly, I must discern the need for my words before I speak. Today’s passage in Ephesians tells us that we need to only speak words that fit the need of the moment. This is why it is important that I listen to Teresa. I must try to see things from her perspective. Is she sad? Then I’ll want to show her how much I care. Is she afraid? Then I’ll want to reassure her of my love and presence. Is she angry about something I’ve done? Then I’ll want to ask the Lord to convict me of any way I might have hurt Teresa.

Third, I try to make sure the timing of my words is right. Teresa’s receptivity to my words is often directly related to the timing of my speaking them. For example, I’ve learned that it’s rarely a good idea to talk with Teresa about something important late at night. Her exhaustion in the evenings makes receptivity low, so we usually have our talks early in the morning over coffee. We’ve also found that bringing up important issues during our quality times of weekly talk works well. We both know that those times are dedicated to giving one another undivided attention.

What steps can you take to learn the best way to lovingly and effectively communicate with your spouse?