Freedom In The Bedroom

freedom - Freedom in the Bedroom

May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine. Song of Solomon 1:2, NASB

Couples often ask us about sexual difficulties in marriage. We are asked questions such as, “Why is there so little interest?” or “Why do I not look forward to being together sexually?”

Physical oneness is an important part of the marital relationship. God wants us to be free to enjoy His design for a man and wife. Here are some ways to make that part of your relationship more fulfilling:

During one of your times alone, discuss typical hindrances to a fulfilling sexual relationship. Heal emotional hurts that come between you, because resentment and romance don’t go together. Increase your nonsexual touching, as touching only when it leads to sex develops resentment rather than mutual affection. Discuss sexual preferences or changes you’d like to make during private conversations outside the bedroom. Wait until you are relaxed and unhurried, then share with one another.

Freedom in the bedroom can be stolen by the sexual guessing game. Assuming your spouse knows how to sexually stimulate you and then becoming angry when he or she doesn’t is a common trap. Break this cycle by switching roles. Make love to your spouse exactly the way you’d most enjoy having him or her make love to you. Show your spouse how and where you would like to be touched. Then reverse the process. Remove boredom in the bedroom by changing routines. Bring variety into the location, time of day, dress, and positions in your times of intimacy. Make changes in who initiates and how lovemaking begins. Talk more to each other during your sexual times together. Share feelings, desires, and excitement.

Which of the steps listed above can you take today to enhance physical intimacy between you and your spouse?