Devoted To Me As Your Friend

devotion - Devoted to Me as Your Friend

No longer do I call you servants . . . I have called you friends. John 15:15

In the early years of our marriage, we set priorities using the “squeaky wheel” standard. That means that whoever or whatever “cried out” for attention at the moment received priority treatment. Unfortunately, our relationship didn’t seem to us to be “crying out” loudly enough.

Ten years into our marriage, the barrenness of a busy life began to take its toll. The joy had left our relationship and we no longer felt like friends. We had turned into two people living in the same house but feeling very much alone. Finally, Teresa and I gave ourselves the advice we had been giving to other couples: “Schedule a weekly time to talk. Don’t leave it to chance.” We first met on Thursdays for lunch. If the time had to change during the week, we’d spend Sunday evening discussing our schedules.

During this time we spent together, we came to realize that the passage of John 15 held some important insights for us as a couple. This passage tells us that Jesus took His disciples into His confidence and shared the most intimate plans of the Father with them. Jesus knew His disciples, and He apparently felt it was important that they know Him and His Father.

This showed us that in order to have a deep, caring relationship, we needed to work hard to know one another. It was going to have to be a two-way street. So these “marriage staff meetings” always included a time when we shared our feelings, hurts, joys, and tender places of our hearts.

This kind of personal time together allowed us to open up to one another and to care for one another as spouses, as lovers—and as friends.

What can you do today to help establish and grow a friendship between you and your spouse?