Bite Your Thumb!

tolerance - Bite Your Thumb!

Love suffers long. 1 Corinthians 13:4

When I (David) was a kid, my family would go on vacation by car. Some of the trips were long ones, so my parents put a cooler of soft drinks in the car to keep my brother and me pacified during the trips.

The problem with giving us the soft drinks was that we often drank so many that we needed to go to the bathroom every thirty minutes or so. On one trip we boys were raising a fuss because we needed to stop for another bathroom break. My dad finally turned around to us in the backseat and with a grin on his face said, “Bite your thumb!” Dad was telling us that we were going to have to endure the discomfort until he was ready to stop.

In marriage, we are often required to endure—to patiently tolerate an annoying habit or personality characteristic in our spouse. Since everyone has different quirks and imperfections, we all need to receive tolerance from our spouses and to show our spouses tolerance in return.

Teresa and I have found one practical strategy to help us suffer long with one another. It starts with each of us making an honest evaluation of some of our own shortcomings. For example, I know I’m withdrawn, often a procrastinator, and sloppy when it comes to details. This step helps take my focus off my spouse’s shortcomings.

Next, we identify strengths God has given to our spouse, which helps us focus on strengths and not on weaknesses. Teresa’s strengths are that she is outgoing, quick to act, and thorough with details.

Finally, we share appreciation with one another by affirming one another and trusting God to change anything He may want to change in us as individuals.

What might you begin doing today to make yourself more patient and long-suffering with your spouse?