Balance In Parenting

discipline - Balance in Parenting

Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, as do stripes the inner depths of the heart. Proverbs 20:30

Striking a balance between love and discipline can be a real test for parents. David and I have found that our parenting skills are often born out of how we were raised. My parents spanked first and asked questions later. David’s parents lectured and took away privileges. So we approached discipline in our home in opposite ways. Our kids needed the security of our being one in our discipline.

We did a lot wrong in the beginning. Since we were only seventeen when Terri was born, our discipline plan was awfully sketchy. Fortunately, Terri was a very compliant child and didn’t challenge our authority often. But as each child was added to our family, it became clear that we needed a discipline plan—and fast!

First, we learned to deal with each individual child differently. We learned that Robin responded to firm directions and consequences. For Eric, it was important for us to use humor and lighthearted tactics. If he sensed the slightest hint of a power struggle, you were in for a battle. We learned to make a game out of almost anything—from taking out the trash to going to bed at night.

David and I also learned that unresolved conflict between us affected how we dealt with the kids. When I felt insecure about the unity between David and me, I was unsure of how to discipline the kids. There were many times when my frustration or irritation with David would come out on the kids. As we have learned to heal our marriage hurts, we no longer use the discipline of the kids as a battleground. As we’ve grown together as a couple, we have learned to balance each other in discipline.

What steps do you need to take today to make sure you are “on the same page” when it comes to parenting?