A Pure Choice

intimacy - A Pure Choice

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:3

David and I married so young that we had no concept of giving to meet each other’s needs. We tried to grow up and stay married at the same time. Years later I had become emotionally dead over the hurts that had occurred between us. I didn’t feel much of anything for David, much less intimacy.

One day David asked me how I felt toward him, and all I could say was, “I don’t feel anything. I just feel dead on the inside.” I wasn’t trying to be mean or hurtful. I truly felt numb. I know now that over the years the hurt had accumulated so much that I just stopped being able to feel. My heart for David had almost become anesthetized by the pain from the past. I couldn’t feel the positive emotions anymore. I knew I was supposed to feel warm, tender, and affectionate toward my husband, but those feelings just weren’t there.

During this period I knew I wasn’t supposed to withhold myself sexually from David. In obedience to God and for the sake of our marriage, I had to make sure that our sexual intimacy continued. There were times, though, when it was purely a choice on my part to give. I chose to give to David even when the feelings weren’t there yet.

The process of healing the hurts from the past was a lengthy one. And as David and I learned how to heal those hurts, God has honored His promise to bring back the feelings of love and passion. Today, I want sexual intimacy with my husband, and this desire is out of my desire to give and to receive.

What can you do to keep intimacy alive in your marriage, even when times are tough?