Where It All Began

God saw that it was good.

On my phone, I keep a picture of my family before death arrived. Taken less than twenty-four hours before my husband Rob’s accidental death, the photograph shows our family sitting to watch a tractor pull at the local county fair.

Whenever I look at that picture, I can’t help but think of all we didn’t know that night. We didn’t know that death would come so swiftly. We didn’t know we’d never say “I love you” again. We didn’t know our children would grow up without a father, an indelible mark imprinted on their lives because of his absence. All we knew was that the elephant ears tasted delicious, the magic show was hokey but entertaining, and the kids doing the tractor pull were surprisingly strong.

You have your own “remember when” stories too. Before the cancer diagnosis. Before the Alzheimer’s grew severe. Before the accident, the phone call, the knock at the door. Whether you’ve lost your person recently or decades ago, looking back on those moments brings pain and an ache that settles deep into your bones. There was a time when life used to be so good.

Unfortunately, pain and hospice, funeral plans and weeping, end-of-life decisions and grief blur our memories. The darkness of loss makes it hard to see God’s goodness in our present. So sometimes it helps to first look back before we move forward.

We begin our forty-day journey here—at Creation, where it all began. When God created the world in divine love, he called each thing good—the mountains, the avocados, the flamingos, the swordfish. With gentle care, he crafted man and woman in his image, an intimate reflection of his triune person. Before sin marred God’s perfect world, before death came to steal and destroy, life used to be so good—for everyone and everything.

Today, your “remember when” stories may feel like a world away. No doubt, as God looks at his world, he feels the same. Sin has broken everything; death has had its day. Nevertheless, as you travel through this day, hold fast to the hope those happier memories can still offer. Our God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He’s not done with this world or with you, either.

The same tender attention that fashioned the galaxies attends to you today, dear grieving friend. The same strength that hoisted the planets upholds you in your weakness. The same love that created hydrangeas and honeybees still cares about recreating you each morning as you rise. Yes, your life used to be so good; and, by God’s amazing power, it can be good again.

I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the LORD’s praise, for he has been good to me.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life.

A Prayer: God, I know that your goodness follows me all of the days of my life, but I’m struggling to believe that today. My whole life feels like BD/AD—before death and after death. I mark time differently now. More than that, I’m tempted to see my life before loss as good and everything since as bad. As I remember the way life used to be, recall to me your steadfast love. Remind me that your goodness has not ended with my loved one’s death. Restore my hope in your promises. Amen.

An Activity for Today: Choose three happy memories of life before your person’s death and jot them briefly on the lines below. What made those moments special? How was life good back then? As you reflect on these memories, seek to identify specifically how God’s goodness was evident in those circumstances. Did you see God’s patience on display? His lavish provision? His abiding love? All these gifts from God then are still available to you now. As you go about your day, be on the lookout for where these gifts might show up for you right where you are today.

A Song to Encourage Your Heart: “Land of the Living (You Don’t Lie)” by Church of the City