Starting Over

Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you.”

When I was in my early twenties, my mother taught me to knit. We sat together, needles in hand, and she taught me the steady pattern of looping over and pulling through. As I found my rhythm, I began to pick up speed. I enjoyed the repetitive motion—that is, until I lost count of my stitches! I added here and dropped there, and before I knew it, my simple scarf had bulges and holes galore.

“You’ll need to rip out your stitches back to where you can restart,” my mom told me when she saw my work. Her instruction busted a hole in my enthusiasm. Rip out my work and start over? Wasn’t there an easier way? I’d made rows of stitches. Now I’d need to do them all over, erasing everything I’d accomplished thus far?

Unfortunately, like my first scarf, beginning again after the death of your person means a complete overhaul. Daily routines must change, thought patterns must change. You need to replace the emergency contact on your health forms. You must stop grabbing your phone to text your loved one when you have a thought you want to share. You must learn new skills, file painful paperwork. Nothing about starting over is easy.

After Moses’ death, God tasked the Israelites’ new leader, Joshua, with leading the people into the Promised Land. It was a hopeful new beginning but also a painful starting over. Sin had kept the Israelites trapped in the wilderness, and in this new land they’d need to rip out the old habits and reconstruct new lives wholly committed to God.

As they stood on the shore of the Jordan River, Joshua shouted, “Get ready! Tomorrow God’s going to do amazing things for you!” The people knew God’s character and track record. Still, as they stood at the edge of their new lives, they needed reassurance that God’s power and provision in their lives didn’t stop at the sandy edge of the desert. It went ahead of them, into tomorrow, preparing a way for their flourishing.

The same goes for you and me as we face our own starting overs. God’s faithfulness doesn’t just chase after us; it goes before us too. Behind and before and beside, God walks with us into our new lives after loss. As you begin the painful, unwelcome rhythms of unraveling and starting over, you can trust that God is there with you. He will guide, comfort, and strengthen you to do the work he has placed before you.

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

If I climb to the sky, you’re there! If I go underground, you’re there! If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon, you’d find me in a minute—you’re already there waiting! Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I’m immersed in the light!” It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.

A Prayer: Dear Jesus, I don’t want to begin again. I liked my life before my loss, and starting over feels so painful without my person here beside me. I know that you are with me wherever I go, so today I ask that you walk with me through my starting over. Remind me of your presence when I have to do something new. Assure me of your strength when I need to learn a skill or grow in an area I find difficult. Show me your amazing work in my life to encourage my heart. Amen.

An Activity for Today: Athletes coming back from injury all start in the same place: they stretch. Gentle exercise like this primes stiff joints and loosens tight muscles. Stretching lengthens and strengthens, preparing the body for more rigorous engagement to come. Today, as an act of starting over, spend some time in gentle stretching. Watch a stretching video on YouTube, or simply do what you know—raising your arms above your head, touching your toes, and spreading your arms out like birds’ wings. As you stretch, recall that God has committed to renewing your strength like the eagle’s as you hope in him (see Isaiah 40:31). Breathe, feel your body move, and pray aloud, “My hope is in you.”

A Song to Encourage Your Heart: “Let Me Find Thee” by Matthew Smith