Thrown Away

Thrown Away

I don’t know Emily—the twenty-five-year-old who gained fifteen minutes of fame by filming her own abortion and posting it online for the world to see. I know nothing about her except what she’s chosen to display, but my heart aches for her, for the father of her child, and for the young life she so cavalierly ended.

I don’t consider myself a crusader. But I grieve at the alarming rate at which new lives are tossed away in our culture. I watched Emily’s video because I wanted to look head-on at the upside-down world in which I live, even when the reality of it hurts like crazy. I saw a heartbreaking, three-minute, laughing, posturing video that said nothing at all about Emily’s child, its father, her family, or any of her friends. “I found out I’m pregnant,” she says to the camera. Then she laughs. “Hey—I’m pregnant.” She purses her lips and shakes her head. “I’m not ready to have children.” In the next frame she laughs again, then says, “I’m going to be having an abortion tomorrow morning.” She claims midprocedure that she’s comfortable with her decision and “feels completely supported by everyone.” But you don’t hear from “everyone.” Only from her.

Reader, know this: I am flawed. I am selfish. I’m a sinner saved by a God whose grace is so over the top it still takes my breath away. I’ve made mistakes. I have regrets. I’m not throwing stones. I know better. But I’m stunned by how smoothly death can be minimized and by how able I am to edit my own story in ways that hide sin and sorrow and elevate self. I know how it feels to try to justify yourself . . . to put on a smiling face and claim you’re just fine, thanks. And I’m ashamed of that. Like Emily, I’ve thrown goodness away with both hands and praised my own autonomy. I just didn’t make a movie of it. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on us. Have mercy on us. Have mercy on us. Amen.

The LORD is the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You support my lot. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places. . . . You will not abandon my soul to Sheol; nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay.

Psalm 16:5-6, 10, NASB