There All Along

There All Along

I sat alone for almost an hour in the place I thought I was meeting friends. I expected to be waiting for at least a few minutes, so I ordered a latte. People-watched. Read the stray, rumpled sections of someone else’s paper. And got more and more frustrated by the minute. Had I misunderstood the time? The meeting place? Had plans changed?

After forty-five minutes I ended my own misery and left the restaurant. I’d really looked forward to company—to blending into the laughter and love and conversation that usually characterize our time together . . . but I drove home frustrated instead.

Then my phone rang. “Where were you?” my friend asked. “We were there. Didn’t you see us?” I hadn’t. I’d watched the door the whole time, and even walked into the other room once to look around. I didn’t see them, and apparently, they didn’t see me, either. But they were there all along.

Although God always knows my whereabouts, sometimes it feels like we’ve gotten our wires crossed too. He doesn’t show up when (or where) I expect him. I look around anxiously and don’t trust his promises enough to wait past my own comfort. I keep moving to mask my confusion and disappointment. And almost always, after the fact, I come to see that he was there all along.

I was sure I was alone once as I cried sloppy tears on the balcony of a remote mountain cabin. I wasn’t. He was there. I thought I was alone in the vet’s office as I cradled a precious, dying pup and watched his last breaths, but I wasn’t. He was there. I believed I was the only person in the hospital waiting room on a Saturday morning, waiting for my father’s surgeon to come out and tell me how things had gone, but even though all the other chairs were empty, I wasn’t alone. God had been there all along. I may not always be aware of him or recognize his nearness . . . but my Father never leaves me undefended. Ever. He goes before and behind. He’s been there all along.

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10, NASB