Not What I Expected

Not What I Expected

I’d arranged to meet a friend for dinner and was looking forward to our visit, but her last-minute message said she was under the weather and couldn’t make it. So instead of hurrying back from an afternoon of errands, I stopped in at a favorite flower market and spent nearly an hour fingering and smelling luscious, autumn-colored blooms. Then I wandered through a half acre of pumpkins in a city churchyard, taking in the sprawling sea of orange. It wasn’t the evening I’d expected, but it was lovely just the same.

Expectations are tricky things. As soon as we get our minds or hearts firmly fixed on something—whether it’s a tantalizing menu option the kitchen is out of, or a choice work opportunity that fails to materialize—we set ourselves up for disappointment. When we decide what is best, we judge anything less to be undesirable. But the answer is not to avoid longing, to abandon striving, or to become numb and indifferent to loss. The answer is to hold our expectations loosely, believing that God’s surprises—even the most confusing ones—have the capacity to delight. And maybe, just maybe, we don’t know best what it is we need most.

Joseph probably didn’t think a stint in an Egyptian prison was a good career move. But it was. And when the wandering Israelites’ mouths watered for meat and fresh fruits and vegetables, they must have looked at the heaps of morning manna surrounding them and said, “Really, God?” Because if I expect freedom, I chafe at limits. Even constructive ones. If I believe death is the final word, I’ll be deaf to the Savior’s compelling promise of life. And if I expect meat, I am destined to be forever dissatisfied with the mercy that is manna.

In truth, the blessing is that God gives us what he knows we need, even when we’ve told him in no uncertain terms what it is we’d rather have. He’s so very good that way. May I have the grace to trust him all the way to joy when what I get is not what I expected.

Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!

Romans 11:33