Not By Me

Not by Me

Grace means that something good was done for me but not by me—something uncoerced and undeserved. How do I recognize grace? It is difficult to receive, and its beautiful sting almost always wrecks my pride.

When I am forgiven—that is grace.

When I am accepted solely on the basis of another’s generous invitation or goodwill—that is grace.

When I am blessed—that is grace.

When my response to a challenge or slight or difficulty is better than I know I am, that is grace.

Grace is a houseguest who cleans out your refrigerator, top to bottom, and disposes of the stuff you were afraid to open for fear of what you’d find. It sets your things in order while you are away, without mentioning it or expecting a reward.

I felt the sting of this concrete example myself when a house-sitting friend not only watched my home and wrangled my darling dog, but returned my neglected fridge to its rightful, pristine state without a word. As I did a mental inventory of the things she’d disposed of, I felt a telltale sense of shame and wounded pride: as much as I want to be that person whose insides are as carefully kept and curated as her outsides, I am most assuredly not. Not even close. My messy fridge was undeniable proof—just as its now-gleaming inside proves the power of love to change what most needs changing. Even when the process is not pretty.

I was beyond delighted for my refrigerator makeover. Truly. But I was also humbled that it needed doing and more than aware that I was the one responsible for its woeful before state—but not its beautiful after.

May it ever be so, too, with the insides of my soul—rearranged forever for my good, but not by me.

When we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:6-8, NKJV