In The Wee, Small Hours

In the Wee, Small Hours

An avalanche of deadlines has had me scrambling, moving constantly from morning until night from one insistent task to the next. Even so, I’m finding myself awake hours before dawn. If you want to know what three o’clock in the morning looks like, I can tell you. Or three thirty. Or four. It’s crazy to be stirring at such hours when rest is at a premium, but I am. For a few days I was frustrated by this odd wakefulness, but now I’ve made peace with it. I know it won’t last.

Sometimes I simply pray for a little while, remembering the day just past or the one ahead, then go back to sleep. But more often I rise, walk through the silent house, or even step outside to see the uncommon stillness of my street at that hour. Burley may stir too—or he may not. I try not to wake him, observing his loose-limbed repose and letting his peacefulness be a balm to my unease.

I don’t understand why these watchful interludes in the wee, small hours should come now, when my plate is already so full, but I don’t resent them. I’m embracing them. God is there, and it’s just the two of us at three in the morning. No distractions, no other demands, no chirping phone or pinging e-mail or chiming texts.

In the wee hours, we meet and I listen; I tell him everything or nothing at all. This season will pass. I’m certain the sleep-like-a-rock-for-seven-hours pattern typically reported on my Fitbit will resume one day soon. But for now, we’re up long before the sun, my God and me. And I’m certain I’m the better for it.

Lord Jesus, you were born among us in the stillness of the night. As we journey to you in faith, help us to welcome you in darkness, and we will become children of light, to the glory of your Father. We ask you this, who are our Savior, now and for ever.

CONCLUDING PRAYER FOR VIGILS, Benedictine Daily Prayer: A Short Breviary

When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.

Psalm 63:6-7, NASB