Doubling Down On My Mistakes

Doubling Down on My Mistakes

Have you ever doubled down when something was clearly not working, making meaningless microcorrections along the way but still aiming wrong? Have you stayed on your chosen course despite frustration and failure and as a result lost time, hope, integrity, or joy?

During one holiday season, I made three consecutive pans of gingerbread, each almost inedible in a different way. Pan one was too sticky. Pan two didn’t rise. The contents of pan three had to be chiseled into the sink. I was certain I knew the recipe, which I never bothered to look up because I’d made it dozens of times. So I kept tweaking the amounts of the individual ingredients. But my errors weren’t merely a matter of degree. I was missing ingredients fundamental to the gingerbread-making process. My intentions were good, and my confidence was high—but I wasn’t going to get it right until I swallowed my pride and revisited the recipe.

Gingerbread’s not life or death. Failing to get it right after three tries was annoying, although doubling down on my baking mistakes didn’t hurt anyone. It just wasted time. But in some areas of life, doubling down does real damage. Like continuing in the same persistent sin, just changing the scenery around it. Or repeating relational patterns that have already proven toxic, just substituting new characters. Or worst of all, placing our faith again and again in anything but Christ and expecting God to bless and prosper us. German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer once famously said, “If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the opposite direction.” (He certainly didn’t mince words, did he?)

“Repent,” Jesus said, “for the Kingdom of Heaven is near” (Matthew 3:2). In other words, get off that death train you’re riding and let me give you life. Real life. Starting here and now. Stop course correcting on your bullet train to nowhere, and go where I’m going. Get off your self-selected ride (and your self-righteous high horse!) and follow me, instead.

Thankfully, although we double down in stubborn pride before him, God has already doubled down in faithfulness to us. His plan for us has been, is, and will forever be good.

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?

Romans 8:32, NKJV