Caught

Caught

I’m not usually caught. I have the reasoning power, the resources, the connections, and the creativity to work my way out of whatever difficult spot I might be in. Usually. But lately, I’ve found myself caught—and when I am truly caught, it’s almost always because of something I cannot change. I can’t change another person’s mind or heart or past. I can’t change illness or the economy. I can’t change which people my heart goes out to; I only choose whether and when I will bend to its inconvenient leanings or deny them.

But caught isn’t necessarily the worst place I can find myself. Once caught I am slower to act, more prone to reflect, more aware of others, and less sure of myself. When caught I am a thousand times more likely to fall on my knees and plead to the one who is not.

Are you caught? In a marriage that isn’t working anymore? In a lie that no one’s discovered yet? In a heartbreak that stays fresh, even as its genesis grows more distant? In a sickness a pill or time won’t fix? A rift that words alone won’t mend?

Paul said he was caught by a thorn in the flesh—an ailment of some sort he considered “a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud” (2 Corinthians 12:7). He asked for God to take his thorn away. But God did not. Not the first time or the second or the third.

So Paul, being caught, made friends with his captor. He heard God’s answer: “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). And he began to look at the things he could not change in a new way. I’m new at this caught thing, and I’m not as graceful as Paul. I’d welcome change, but God is not budging. I’m caught, but I’m holding on to his strength and praying to see glory. I want him to put my fears to shame and bring me to the day when I can point to him and say, “Look at my God! Isn’t he good? And didn’t he know all along what was best for me?”

I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my own weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:9, MSG