Bigger And Bigger

Bigger and Bigger

I held my first Bible in my hands, and it felt smaller—much smaller—than I remembered. My many adult-sized editions of the same book are stuffed to the brim with notes and maps and study helps, and most barely fit in the crook of my elbow, much less the palm of one hand. This one, by contrast, seemed minuscule. What is the odd phenomenon by which childhood things seem to shrink in contemporary light? So many souvenirs from the past seem to grow smaller with the years—all out of proportion to the woman I am today. But the God of my yesterdays never shrinks. He grows bigger and bigger with each passing year.

Once upon a time he was small enough to squeeze into my eight-year-old heart. Today I know that the sea and the sky cannot contain him. Way back when, I discovered he could be trusted with smallish disappointments and middle-sized fears; today I know he reconstitutes great big broken hearts and that there is no threat from within or without that can cow him.

I used to say when people asked to hear my testimony that I met my Savior young and simply grew up with him. But now I see that while I was growing up with him, he was outgrowing me at every turn.

What a relief that my God does not shrink as I grow older. Every year I find him bigger. Bigger than disasters and sickness, bigger than broken promises and bruised hearts. Bigger even than my own sin and selfishness. Hymn writer Frederick Faber says it this way in “The Eternal Spirit”:

Ocean, wide-flowing Ocean, Thou, of uncreated love;

I tremble as within my soul I feel Thy waters move.

Thou art a sea without a shore; awful, immense, Thou art;

A sea which can contract itself within my narrow heart.

Time may play tricks on my perspective or make of my memory a flimsy scrim, but my God just keeps growing bigger. I’ll never outpace him or outgrow my need for him, and he’ll never prove smaller than I remember. That’s a sure and certain mercy and a joy forevermore.

Mighty God! Far beyond our reach! Unsurpassable in power and justice! It’s unthinkable that he’d treat anyone unfairly. So bow to him in deep reverence, one and all! If you’re wise, you’ll most certainly worship him.

Job 37:23-24, MSG