You Gotta Have Friends

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

“WOULD YOU LIKE TO BRING a few of your healthy friends to the next meeting?” I asked.

“Healthy friends? What do you mean?”

“Do you have one or two friends who encourage you to make wise and godly choices? Positive people who believe in you, want the best for you?”

She stared back at me, drawing a total blank, and then she flatly responded, “Um, no. I don’t think I do.”

What a shame! It is really true that misery loves company and “bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). People of severe dysfunction seem to be magnets for people with severe dysfunction.

Often when a woman desires to change her life, she may have to go outside her friendship circle to find help and support. Developing new, healthier friendships can feel a little frightening, especially if you are still battling old ghosts from your life and lies burned into your thinking. Lies like, You aren’t good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough.

How can you battle past the lies and gain some healthier friends?

Hang out where healthy women hang out: Bible studies, support groups, career enhancement organizations, parenting classes, or places of education.

Meet women in small groups or one-on-one in a neutral setting, like for coffee or with your children at a playground.

Offer to help them achieve their goals. Healthy women are often busy women, so spend time in their world and observe how they interact with others, how they handle their responsibilities. Volunteer to serve on a committee they run, or offer to work a few hours in their office.

Identify women who are a step or two ahead of you on the wellness trail, and be their encourager. You may find they will encourage you in return.