Realigning Expectations

“When Jesus heard them, he stopped and called, “What do you want me to do for you?” “Lord,” they said, “we want to see!” Jesus felt sorry for them and touched their eyes. Instantly they could see! Then they followed him.” (Matthew 20:32-34, NLT)

In their recent study Barna Research and MomCo found that three out of five moms say they “regularly experience being overwhelmed with responsibilities.” Sound familiar? And yet, less than one in five moms feel they are “able to contribute meaningfully to the world.”

The mounting responsibilities for the modern mom is head-spinning. Some days we manage it all and go to bed exhausted, but proud of ourselves for juggling and hustling. Other days, we fall asleep replaying everything we forgot, every mistake we made, and the many ways we feel like we’re failing.

But, whose expectations are we failing? When we don’t have clarity, it’s easy to live untethered–to have a life ordered and prioritized by others telling you what you should want. We are living in an era with more choices than ever – choices about how to order our work, how to educate our kids, and what our activities and eating habits should be. Every possible choice seems to be available to us, and yet we still feel unfulfilled, angry, and anxious.

Jesus offers us a better way and invites us to know and understand our choices. Did you know the Bible records Jesus asking the question, “What do you want?” seven times?

Jesus stopped and called them. “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked. (Matthew 20:32)

“What do you want me to do for you?” he asked. (Mark 10:36)

Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?” The blind man said, “Teacher, I want to see again.” (Mark 10:51)

Have you considered recently what you want? Sometimes wanting makes us uncomfortable because we’re afraid of wanting the wrong thing. Or we’re convinced that desiring things is bad or selfish. One helpful question to consider is, “What will happen to me if I get what I want? How will I feel after?”

What would it look like to get clarity and let go of the things that don’t align with what matters most to our hearts? Things like our family life, our emotional health, or spiritual wellbeing? Fredrick Buechner said, “One life on this earth is all we get, whether it is enough or not enough, and the obvious conclusion would seem to be that at the very least we are fools if we do not live it as fully and bravely and beautifully as we can.” And so, may you slow down long enough to hear the deep desires of your heart and to honestly answer the question that Jesus is asking, “What do you want?”

Reflection:

1. What heavy expectations are you currently carrying? Write them down.
2. What in your life gives you purpose, life, and joy? Write them down.
3. Compare the two lists; are they in alignment? What needs to change in order to better align them? What is one way you can let go of heavy expectations today to make room for more purpose, life and joy?

Prayer:

God, thank you for caring about the details of my life. Help me to throw off expectations that don’t align with what matters most to my heart, family, and soul. Continue to help me focus my time on the things that matter most—time with you, and the things you want for my life. AMEN.